Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Certified Divorce Financial Analysts™ offer their best tips to help you avoid some of the most common mistakes made by divorcing people.Edited by Diana Shepherd, CDFA

Understand your financial and emotional limits.

When you understand yourself, you are better equipped to be objective. This saves time, which leads to cost savings. If you are not prepared to look at reality – without the emotional entanglements – the outcome will never be what you need, let alone what you want. Instead of asking "why" questions, which lead to people becoming defensive, try asking questions that start with "how." For instance, asking, "How did you come to that conclusion?" leads to a discussion about process. It allows both people to step back from the brink and look at things as they are.

Armand D'Alo (CFP® and CDFA™) of Oak Tree Advisory Services has worked as a financial analyst in private practice for more than 25 years. Located in Carlsbad, CA, he holds a degree in finance and family counseling from Brigham Young University. He can be reached at info@oaktreeadvisory.com.


Settle out of court.

When given the choice to settle at mediation or settle at trial, always try to choose the former for two reasons. First, going to trial is very expensive: typically, the only ones who win are the lawyers and experts, which leaves a smaller "pie" for the divorcing husband and wife to divide. Second, going to trial is risky because all of the decisions are left to the judge who has known the parties for a few hours at most; in mediation, the divorcing parties still have 100% control over how things will be settled (assuming they can come to an agreement).

Joseph P. Mirandi (CPA, CVA, CDFA™, MST) devotes a large portion of his practice in Lakeland, FL to assisting lawyers and their clients in divorce-related matters. He also has an extensive tax practice, and is certified in preparing business valuations. He can be reached at (863) 607-4222 or via www.huttomirandi.com.

Know what you have and what you need.

It is very important to know what assets you own, the value of those assets, and how they are held. This should cover everything from retirement to investment to bank accounts, as well as future pensions and social security. Make copies of your and your spouse's tax returns. These returns can help explain to a financial advisor a lot more than your income and taxes paid: they can help find assets, capital gains and losses, depreciation, and business expenses. The tax returns are also helpful in uncovering assets that a spouse might have hidden.

Before splitting your assets, you should think about what you need: you must create a budget, identify which assets will help ensure your financial security, and negotiate for this.

Jim Newman (AWMA, CSA, CDFA™) is the Senior Vice President – Wealth Management at Janney Montgomery Scott in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL. He can be reached at (866) 226-9935.

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Courts Bulletin: Family law


Editor:
  John W. Dennis, Jr. , Esquire
Remand is necessary for the trial court to enter the statutorily appropriate nomenclature in describing the type of custody being awarded to the parents in this matter. Shane M. Granger, Respondent v. Tina M. Granger, Appellant, No. 27852 (Mo. App. S.D., April 2, 2007) Barney, J.
  
The judgment of dissolution of marriage was reversed for two reasons. The remand for the entry of specific findings of fact as to domestic violence is not summarized here. The trial court awarded custody to the “parties jointly” and named father “residential custodian” and mother “non-primary custodian.” Mother appealed.
  Held: Reversed.
  “…[F]ailure to use proper nomenclature in describing the type of custody being awarded to a parent is confusing to litigants and impedes proper appellate review.” In re: Marriage of Copeland, 148 S.W.3d 327n.1 (Mo. App. 2004). As Wife maintains, there are no statutory designations for 'separate custody' or 'non-primary custodian' as set out by the trial court in the Judgment. Additionally, setting out a custody award to the 'parties jointly' is at best ambiguous and confusing and is also not a disposition recognized by either section 452.375.1 or 452.375.5.”

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

 

Advisors Say Plan For The Worst: Divorce

Recently from the San Francisco Family Law Blog

With more than 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, dealing with custody, splitting up property and paying alimony are realities that some families must deal with.

Of course, they are also serious issues of contention that can often cause financial hardship to one or both parties involved.

"The harsh truth is all relationships end, be it divorce or death," said Cheryl Bernstein, a financial planner for Financial Essentials. "At some time or another, and you need to know where your money is."

There are many financial issues, ranging from tax implications to determining assets, that come into play during a divorce.

However, it's only a part of the story.

"In middle-size divorces, it's part of a case, but not all of the case," said Steven Chroman, a Valencia divorce attorney.

Money issues ranging from property distribution to spousal and child support all factor in and become issues, especially when a marriage has seen an increase in money for one or both parties.

Chroman said that in California, people are lucky, as in most divorce cases there are disclosure requirements, and people can hire accountants to be able to trace all property and assets and be able to determine tax implications.

Bernstein said it's important for both men and women to be financially educated and know where all their money and obligations are.

"Don't count on the other spouse," she said, because there could be case of needing to know where everything is.

Chroman said money can be manipulated, which is why it is important to have the right people available to handle what a person might forget during the course of a divorce.

In addition, in spousal support and monetary settlements, the parties have to be aware of all things that come up during the course of a marriage, and have "due diligence" in figuring out what is owned and managed.

Chroman said that although it is an unromantic ideal, a pre- or post-nuptial agreement might help in protecting assets, such as an estate or trust that a person comes into a marriage with, and being able to keep that money after a divorce.

It's not just for the wealthy, either. He said that it is also a common practice in middle-class marriages.

"A lot of things can happen," he said. "People get divorced for crazy reasons, and it's a security device for both."


By Reina V. Slutske
Signal Business Writer

Source:  San Francisco Family Law Blog

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5-18-07 This weeks Missouri Family Law Cases

Wife Concedes Ambiguous Term In Agreement; Prevails On Appeal
Separation agreement provided non-modifiable maintenance to Wife, and Circuit Court found no basis for modification, so it had no power to modify maintenance. Husband's points, all related to manner of modification, are therefore moot. Ambiguity remains in terms of agreement, but Wife's concession of the point allows Court of Appeals to issue judgment Circuit Court should have.
Tracy Lynn Boden, Respondent/Cross-Appellant v. Thomas Robert Boden, Appellant/Cross-Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

Frequently Asked Questions About Paternity

Recently from the Georgia Family Law Blog

WHAT IS PATERNITY?

Paternity means fatherhood, the quality or state of being a father.


WHAT IS A PATERNITY TEST?

A Paternity Test is a DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) or genetic test that determines whether a given man could be the biological father of a child.


ON WHAT GROUNDS CAN I RECEIVE A PATERNITY TEST?

Paternity test are not just used to determine whether an individual is the biological father of a child. A Paternity test is useful in many situations, including:

  • Assisting women seeking child support from a man who denies he is a child s biological father.
  • Helping men attempting to win custody or visitation rights.
  • Providing peace of mind for men wishing to confirm paternity.
  • Establishing proof of heritage for an adopted child seeking their biological parents.
  • Determining grand parentage, inheritance rights, insurance claims or Social Security benefits.
  • Assisting in immigration cases on the grounds an individual is a biological relative of a citizen.
  • Establishing Native American Tribal Rights.
  • Determining rightful heirs by DNA profiling for estate purpose.
  • Providing conclusive evidence of sisterhood or brotherhood for siblings separated for long periods of time.

WHAT IS THE PATERNITY TEST PROCEDURE?

There are several ways in which a paternity test can be performed. Test samples can come from blood cells, cheek cells, tissues samples, and semen. Paternity experts prefer using Blood test and the Buccal (cheek) swab test to determine Paternity. When an individual takes a blood test, a blood specimen (one tablespoon or less) is drawn from the forearm. Unlike a blood test, the buccal scrap is done by brushing a swab vigorously against the inside of the subject s cheek. Since the DNA is the same in every cell of the body, the accuracy of testing performed on cheek cells with the swab is the same as using blood.


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U.S. Divorce Rate Lowest Since 1970

NEW YORK (AP) -- By the numbers, divorce just isn't what it used to be.

Despite the common notion that America remains plagued by a divorce epidemic, the national per capita divorce rate has declined steadily since its peak in 1981 and is now at its lowest level since 1970.

Yet Americans aren't necessarily making better choices about their long-term relationships. Even those who study marriage and work to make it more successful can't decide whether the trend is grounds for celebration or cynicism.

Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever -- and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying. Other researchers have documented what they call ''the divorce divide,'' contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.

''Families with two earners with good jobs have seen an improvement in their standard of living, which leads to less tension at home and lower probability of divorce,'' said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of public policy at Johns Hopkins University.

America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and skyrocketed during the '70s and early '80s, as virtually every state adopted no-fault divorce laws. The rate peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981.

But since then it's dropped by one-third, to 3.6. That's the lowest rate since 1970.

What's fueling that decline? According to 20 scholars, marriage-promotion experts and divorce lawyers consulted by The Associated Press, a combination of things.

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Divorce & Social Security Benefits

 Divorce & Social Security Benefits

Socialsecurity

Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog  for the following recent post regarding divorce and social security benefits:

If you are divorced after at least 10 years of marriage, you can collect retirement benefits on your former spouse's Social Security record if you are at least age 62 and if your former spouse is entitled to or receiving benefits. If you remarry, you generally cannot collect benefits on your former spouse's record unless your later marriage ends (whether by death, divorce, or annulment).

If your divorced spouse dies, you can receive benefits as a widow/widower if the marriage lasted 10 years or more. Benefits paid to a surviving divorced spouse who is 60 or older will not affect the benefit rates for other survivors receiving benefits.

In general, you cannot receive survivors benefits if you remarry before the age of 60 unless the latter marriage ends, whether by death, divorce, or annulment.      

If you remarry after age 60 (50 if disabled), you can still collect benefits on your former spouse’s record. When you reach age 62 or older, you may get retirement benefit on the record of your new spouse if they are higher. Your remarriage would have no effect on the benefits being paid to your children.

source: socialsecurityonline

from theOklahoma Family Law Blog

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When Bankruptcy Meets Divorce

Just over two years ago, President George W. Bush signed the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) of 2005, which became effective Oct. 17, 2005. If you are getting divorced, this new bankruptcy law could concern you. Reason: While you may not realize it, in this country, our high divorce rate and bankruptcy commonly intersect.

Here’s how. Until the enactment of the BAPCPA, the bankruptcy process was seen by some, and used by many, as a tool to permanently evade (or, to use bankruptcy terminology, ‘discharge’) family obligations foisted upon them by agreement or court order after a marital dissolution. Plus, once a person filed a bankruptcy petition--for liquidation under Chapter 7 or reorganization under Chapter 13 (or, less commonly, Chapter 11)--he gained the protection of an ‘automatic stay,’ preventing creditors from taking any actions against him, his income or his property to collect their debts.

Perhaps even more important than the means test and mandatory financial management education is the fact that BAPCPA has made it much more difficult for debtors to shirk domestic relations responsibilities. Unlike the old law (BRA) which, as amended in 1984, allowed debtors to discharge nonsecured property settlement obligations to former spouses (think payouts for businesses, professional practices, or other assets distributed in a divorce), the new law forbids this. Now, any domestic support obligation ‘DSO’ becomes a ‘first priority claim,’ ineligible for discharge.'

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Parenting showdown: Moms vs. Dads Couples' fights on raising kids can significantly impact all family members

Child-rearing is often a sensitive and complicated issue for couples, and many argue about just how to properly raise their young. But for children, major parental disagreement is a source of mixed messages and confusion that may undermine the attitudes, values and behaviors parents hope to teach. Stacy DeBroff, president of the popular parenting website Momcentral.com, offers smart solutions on how to keep chaos at bay.

Parenting disagreements? Threatening the well being of our marriages and our kids? Yep, welcome to the brave new world of today's parenting: with shifting social roles for Mom and Dad, pressure to raise fabulous kids while supposedly being their best friends, and strong parenting preferences by both Mom and Dad.

When most of us were growing up, Mom and Dad held more traditional roles, with Mom typically a housewife and Dad the breadwinner and stern disciplinarian. "Just wait until your Father gets home!" my brother and I got warned on a daily basis. Not so today, as Moms announce in the kitchen, "I do not care what your Dad said! There is no macaroni and cheese for breakfast in this house or TV after dinner. Period." For men and women alike with children, parenting has emerged as a primary focus. And along with the laser-like focus on children has emerged a virtual cauldron of boiling and brewing parental disagreements.

Trend spotting helps here to see the shifting in parenting styles. Long gone are those June Cleaver days when women considered themselves first and foremost as "housewives." Moms are focusing on being "stay-at-home Moms," we have entered the workplace in record numbers, and Dads have become the most involved parents in history. Plus, ask most Moms and Dad and they will announce how they want to be "best friends" with their children. So much for children being seen and not heard!

When Mom and Dad disagree over even minor parenting issues: the repercussions echo throughout the whole next day and the whole family. For instance if Dad lets the kids stay up way past bedtime, you have Mom at home with an entire day of dealing with a grumpy, tired, unhappy kid or one who resents your more stringent rules. Or it's the working Moms who get reports from a babysitter, the preschool, the teachers, and the after-school about a tired child who is acting out. As parents, Moms rely on having a united front.

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