Sooner or later, many families face the prospect of moving. Disruptive as moving can be for parents, the experience can be even more traumatic for kids, who may not be a part of the decision to move and may not understand it.

Kids may need some time and special attention during the transition. You can take steps to make the entire process less stressful for everyone.

Making the Decision to Move

Many kids thrive on familiarity and routine. So as you consider a move, weigh the benefits of that change against the comfort that established surroundings, school, and social life give your child.

If your family has recently dealt with a major life change, such as divorce or death, you may want to postpone a move, if possible, to give your child time to adjust.

The decision to move may be out of your hands, perhaps due to a job transfer or financial issues. Even if you're not happy about the move, try to maintain a positive attitude about it. During times of transition, a parent's moods and attitudes can greatly affect kids, who may be looking for reassurance.

Discussing the Move With Your Child

No matter what the circumstances, the most important way you can prepare your child is to talk about it early and often.

Try to give your child as much information about the move as soon as possible. Answer questions completely and truthfully, and be receptive to both positive and negative reactions. Even if the move means an improvement in family life, kids don't always understand that and may be focused on the frightening aspects of the change.

Involving kids in the planning as much as possible makes them feel like participants in the house-hunting process or the search for a new school. This can make the change feel less like it's being forced on them.

If you're moving across town, try to take your child to visit the new house (or see it being built) and explore the new neighborhood.

For distant moves, provide as much information as you can about the new home, city, and state (or country). Learn where your child will be able to participate in favorite activities. See if a relative, friend, or even a real estate agent can take pictures of the new house and new school for your child.

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Failure To Provide Shown
Overwhelming evidence supporting Circuit Court's finding that Mother was negligent included frequent moves and association with men known to abuse children, failure to make and keep appointments for Child's therapy, and failure to contribute. Mother waived findings of fact by filing no motion to amend.
In re the Interest of: K.M.C., III. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Too Much Grandparent Visitation
Courts will determine on a case-by-case basis whether Grandparent visitation intrudes too much on parenting. Circuit Court's order of Grandparent visitation on regular weekends and holidays was more than the occasional and temporary amount allowed by statute because it "would leave fewer options for the family to socialize as a unit. Thus, we remand the case to the trial court to order visitation that is less frequent and more flexible than the current one."
Don Shemwell and Mary Shemwell, Respondents, v. Karen Arni, Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District.

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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Certified Divorce Financial Analysts™ offer their best tips to help you avoid some of the most common mistakes made by divorcing people.Edited by Diana Shepherd, CDFA

Understand your financial and emotional limits.

When you understand yourself, you are better equipped to be objective. This saves time, which leads to cost savings. If you are not prepared to look at reality – without the emotional entanglements – the outcome will never be what you need, let alone what you want. Instead of asking "why" questions, which lead to people becoming defensive, try asking questions that start with "how." For instance, asking, "How did you come to that conclusion?" leads to a discussion about process. It allows both people to step back from the brink and look at things as they are.

Armand D'Alo (CFP® and CDFA™) of Oak Tree Advisory Services has worked as a financial analyst in private practice for more than 25 years. Located in Carlsbad, CA, he holds a degree in finance and family counseling from Brigham Young University. He can be reached at info@oaktreeadvisory.com.

Settle out of court.

When given the choice to settle at mediation or settle at trial, always try to choose the former for two reasons. First, going to trial is very expensive: typically, the only ones who win are the lawyers and experts, which leaves a smaller "pie" for the divorcing husband and wife to divide. Second, going to trial is risky because all of the decisions are left to the judge who has known the parties for a few hours at most; in mediation, the divorcing parties still have 100% control over how things will be settled (assuming they can come to an agreement).

Joseph P. Mirandi (CPA, CVA, CDFA™, MST) devotes a large portion of his practice in Lakeland, FL to assisting lawyers and their clients in divorce-related matters. He also has an extensive tax practice, and is certified in preparing business valuations. He can be reached at (863) 607-4222 or via www.huttomirandi.com.

Know what you have and what you need.

It is very important to know what assets you own, the value of those assets, and how they are held. This should cover everything from retirement to investment to bank accounts, as well as future pensions and social security. Make copies of your and your spouse's tax returns. These returns can help explain to a financial advisor a lot more than your income and taxes paid: they can help find assets, capital gains and losses, depreciation, and business expenses. The tax returns are also helpful in uncovering assets that a spouse might have hidden.

Before splitting your assets, you should think about what you need: you must create a budget, identify which assets will help ensure your financial security, and negotiate for this.

Jim Newman (AWMA, CSA, CDFA™) is the Senior Vice President – Wealth Management at Janney Montgomery Scott in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL. He can be reached at (866) 226-9935.

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Editor:
  John W. Dennis, Jr. , Esquire
Remand is necessary for the trial court to enter the statutorily appropriate nomenclature in describing the type of custody being awarded to the parents in this matter. Shane M. Granger, Respondent v. Tina M. Granger, Appellant, No. 27852 (Mo. App. S.D., April 2, 2007) Barney, J.
  The judgment of dissolution of marriage was reversed for two reasons. The remand for the entry of specific findings of fact as to domestic violence is not summarized here. The trial court awarded custody to the “parties jointly” and named father “residential custodian” and mother “non-primary custodian.” Mother appealed.
  Held: Reversed.
  “…[F]ailure to use proper nomenclature in describing the type of custody being awarded to a parent is confusing to litigants and impedes proper appellate review.” In re: Marriage of Copeland, 148 S.W.3d 327n.1 (Mo. App. 2004). As Wife maintains, there are no statutory designations for 'separate custody' or 'non-primary custodian' as set out by the trial court in the Judgment. Additionally, setting out a custody award to the 'parties jointly' is at best ambiguous and confusing and is also not a disposition recognized by either section 452.375.1 or 452.375.5.”

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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Recently from the San Francisco Family Law Blog

With more than 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, dealing with custody, splitting up property and paying alimony are realities that some families must deal with.

Of course, they are also serious issues of contention that can often cause financial hardship to one or both parties involved.

"The harsh truth is all relationships end, be it divorce or death," said Cheryl Bernstein, a financial planner for Financial Essentials. "At some time or another, and you need to know where your money is."

There are many financial issues, ranging from tax implications to determining assets, that come into play during a divorce.

However, it's only a part of the story.

"In middle-size divorces, it's part of a case, but not all of the case," said Steven Chroman, a Valencia divorce attorney.

Money issues ranging from property distribution to spousal and child support all factor in and become issues, especially when a marriage has seen an increase in money for one or both parties.

Chroman said that in California, people are lucky, as in most divorce cases there are disclosure requirements, and people can hire accountants to be able to trace all property and assets and be able to determine tax implications.

Bernstein said it's important for both men and women to be financially educated and know where all their money and obligations are.

"Don't count on the other spouse," she said, because there could be case of needing to know where everything is.

Chroman said money can be manipulated, which is why it is important to have the right people available to handle what a person might forget during the course of a divorce.

In addition, in spousal support and monetary settlements, the parties have to be aware of all things that come up during the course of a marriage, and have "due diligence" in figuring out what is owned and managed.

Chroman said that although it is an unromantic ideal, a pre- or post-nuptial agreement might help in protecting assets, such as an estate or trust that a person comes into a marriage with, and being able to keep that money after a divorce.

It's not just for the wealthy, either. He said that it is also a common practice in middle-class marriages.

"A lot of things can happen," he said. "People get divorced for crazy reasons, and it's a security device for both."

By Reina V. Slutske
Signal Business Writer

Source:  San Francisco Family Law Blog

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Wife Concedes Ambiguous Term In Agreement; Prevails On Appeal
Separation agreement provided non-modifiable maintenance to Wife, and Circuit Court found no basis for modification, so it had no power to modify maintenance. Husband's points, all related to manner of modification, are therefore moot. Ambiguity remains in terms of agreement, but Wife's concession of the point allows Court of Appeals to issue judgment Circuit Court should have.
Tracy Lynn Boden, Respondent/Cross-Appellant v. Thomas Robert Boden, Appellant/Cross-Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

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Recently from the Georgia Family Law Blog

WHAT IS PATERNITY?

Paternity means fatherhood, the quality or state of being a father.

WHAT IS A PATERNITY TEST?

A Paternity Test is a DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) or genetic test that determines whether a given man could be the biological father of a child.

ON WHAT GROUNDS CAN I RECEIVE A PATERNITY TEST?

Paternity test are not just used to determine whether an individual is the biological father of a child. A Paternity test is useful in many situations, including:

• Assisting women seeking child support from a man who denies he is a child s biological father.
• Helping men attempting to win custody or visitation rights.
• Providing peace of mind for men wishing to confirm paternity.
• Establishing proof of heritage for an adopted child seeking their biological parents.
• Determining grand parentage, inheritance rights, insurance claims or Social Security benefits.
• Assisting in immigration cases on the grounds an individual is a biological relative of a citizen.
• Establishing Native American Tribal Rights.
• Determining rightful heirs by DNA profiling for estate purpose.
• Providing conclusive evidence of sisterhood or brotherhood for siblings separated for long periods of time.

WHAT IS THE PATERNITY TEST PROCEDURE?

There are several ways in which a paternity test can be performed. Test samples can come from blood cells, cheek cells, tissues samples, and semen. Paternity experts prefer using Blood test and the Buccal (cheek) swab test to determine Paternity. When an individual takes a blood test, a blood specimen (one tablespoon or less) is drawn from the forearm. Unlike a blood test, the buccal scrap is done by brushing a swab vigorously against the inside of the subject s cheek. Since the DNA is the same in every cell of the body, the accuracy of testing performed on cheek cells with the swab is the same as using blood.

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NEW YORK (AP) -- By the numbers, divorce just isn't what it used to be.

Despite the common notion that America remains plagued by a divorce epidemic, the national per capita divorce rate has declined steadily since its peak in 1981 and is now at its lowest level since 1970.

Yet Americans aren't necessarily making better choices about their long-term relationships. Even those who study marriage and work to make it more successful can't decide whether the trend is grounds for celebration or cynicism.

Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever -- and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying. Other researchers have documented what they call ''the divorce divide,'' contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.

''Families with two earners with good jobs have seen an improvement in their standard of living, which leads to less tension at home and lower probability of divorce,'' said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of public policy at Johns Hopkins University.

America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and skyrocketed during the '70s and early '80s, as virtually every state adopted no-fault divorce laws. The rate peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981.

But since then it's dropped by one-third, to 3.6. That's the lowest rate since 1970.

What's fueling that decline? According to 20 scholars, marriage-promotion experts and divorce lawyers consulted by The Associated Press, a combination of things.

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 Divorce & Social Security Benefits

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Just over two years ago, President George W. Bush signed the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) of 2005, which became effective Oct. 17, 2005. If you are getting divorced, this new bankruptcy law could concern you. Reason: While you may not realize it, in this country, our high divorce rate and bankruptcy commonly intersect.

Here’s how. Until the enactment of the BAPCPA, the bankruptcy process was seen by some, and used by many, as a tool to permanently evade (or, to use bankruptcy terminology, ‘discharge’) family obligations foisted upon them by agreement or court order after a marital dissolution. Plus, once a person filed a bankruptcy petition--for liquidation under Chapter 7 or reorganization under Chapter 13 (or, less commonly, Chapter 11)--he gained the protection of an ‘automatic stay,’ preventing creditors from taking any actions against him, his income or his property to collect their debts.

Perhaps even more important than the means test and mandatory financial management education is the fact that BAPCPA has made it much more difficult for debtors to shirk domestic relations responsibilities. Unlike the old law (BRA) which, as amended in 1984, allowed debtors to discharge nonsecured property settlement obligations to former spouses (think payouts for businesses, professional practices, or other assets distributed in a divorce), the new law forbids this. Now, any domestic support obligation ‘DSO’ becomes a ‘first priority claim,’ ineligible for discharge.'

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Child-rearing is often a sensitive and complicated issue for couples, and many argue about just how to properly raise their young. But for children, major parental disagreement is a source of mixed messages and confusion that may undermine the attitudes, values and behaviors parents hope to teach. Stacy DeBroff, president of the popular parenting website Momcentral.com, offers smart solutions on how to keep chaos at bay.

Parenting disagreements? Threatening the well being of our marriages and our kids? Yep, welcome to the brave new world of today's parenting: with shifting social roles for Mom and Dad, pressure to raise fabulous kids while supposedly being their best friends, and strong parenting preferences by both Mom and Dad.

When most of us were growing up, Mom and Dad held more traditional roles, with Mom typically a housewife and Dad the breadwinner and stern disciplinarian. "Just wait until your Father gets home!" my brother and I got warned on a daily basis. Not so today, as Moms announce in the kitchen, "I do not care what your Dad said! There is no macaroni and cheese for breakfast in this house or TV after dinner. Period." For men and women alike with children, parenting has emerged as a primary focus. And along with the laser-like focus on children has emerged a virtual cauldron of boiling and brewing parental disagreements.

Trend spotting helps here to see the shifting in parenting styles. Long gone are those June Cleaver days when women considered themselves first and foremost as "housewives." Moms are focusing on being "stay-at-home Moms," we have entered the workplace in record numbers, and Dads have become the most involved parents in history. Plus, ask most Moms and Dad and they will announce how they want to be "best friends" with their children. So much for children being seen and not heard!

When Mom and Dad disagree over even minor parenting issues: the repercussions echo throughout the whole next day and the whole family. For instance if Dad lets the kids stay up way past bedtime, you have Mom at home with an entire day of dealing with a grumpy, tired, unhappy kid or one who resents your more stringent rules. Or it's the working Moms who get reports from a babysitter, the preschool, the teachers, and the after-school about a tired child who is acting out. As parents, Moms rely on having a united front.

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Burden of proof of stalking for order of protection. Thomas Schwalm, Respondent v. Lori Schwalm, Appellant, No. 87829 (Mo. App. E.D., March 20, 2007), Richter, P.J.
  This case is instructional to the extent it discusses the failure of proof that required the reversal of the judgment for an order of protection.
  Husband sought an order of protection where the evidence showed that wife knocked on husband's door multiple times, once blocked husband's vehicle in a parking lot, followed him to work on occasion and once approached him at a gas station. That sounds like stalking, except for one crucial element. “While the statutory definition of stalking requires alarm (in the victim), a plaintiff is required to do more than simply assert a bare answer of 'yes' when asked if he was alarmed. A plaintiff must show that a defendant's conduct caused him fear of danger of physical harm as stated in the statutory definition of alarm. See Section 455.010(10)(c).”
  Note: A similar case was just reported for the same proposition: Clark v. Wuebbeling, No. 88413 (Mo. App. E.D., March 20, 2007), opinion also by Judge Richter.

Identical twins yield identical paternity tests. State of Missouri, ex rel., Department of Social Services, Division of Child Support Enforcement, and Holly Marie Adams, Petitioners/Respondents v. Raymon Miller, Respondent/Appellant and Richard Miller, Respondent, No. 27188 (Mo. App. S.D., March 14, 2007), Garrison, J.
  This was a paternity action in which twin brothers were having sexual relations with the eventual mother of a child for whom child support was sought. The brother named as the father appealed on the basis that the burden of proof of his paternity was not met because of the results of DNA testing of both brothers. The results were identical.
  Held: Affirmed. When competing tests for paternity show two potential fathers, the court must look to the nongenetic evidence to determine if there is a preponderance of evidence of the identity of the father. Here, the mother's testimony established that appellant was the only one of the two who could be the father.

Disqualification of guardian ad litem in modification action. State of Missouri, ex rel. Larry Dreppard, Relator, v. Hon. Phillip Jones, Com., and Hon. John Essner, Respondents, No. 89214 (Mo. App. E.D., March 6, 2007), Norton, P.J.
  A motion to modify was filed and the trial court re-appointed the guardian ad litem (“GAL”) from the dissolution of marriage action. Within 10 days of that appointment, father asked for the disqualification of the GAL. The request was denied. Father now seeks a writ of mandamus compelling the trial court to grant the motion to disqualify.
  Held: Writ made absolute. Section 452.423.1, RSMo provides that each party has a right to one disqualification of an appointed GAL if requested in a timely manner (within 10 days of the appointment). The trial court viewed the motion to modify as a continuation of the original dissolution action. However, the opinion notes “… that by 're-appointing' the GAL following the motion to modify, the court recognized that the modification proceeding was independent from the original dissolution proceeding. Otherwise, no appointment would have been necessary.” Since the motion to modify is deemed by the rules to be an independent proceeding, the parties had a right to disqualify the GAL.

Pension benefits and disability payments. Sandra Ray Coffman, Respondent v. Elvin Cale Coffman, Appellant, No. 66204 (Mo. App. W.D., February 27, 2007), Ellis, J.
  In this dissolution of marriage action, the parties were married in 1982. At that time, husband had worked for General Motors for approximately 4 ½ years. He continued that employment until December 2002 for a total of 24 years. Earlier that year he had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital and his father was named as his guardian and conservator by the probate court. He was 45 years old as of his last day at General Motors. He had received disability payment from General Motors and eventually qualified for Social Security disability benefits, too. He qualified and was ultimately receiving disability benefits from General Motors. The trial court determined that all but the pre-marital years of credited service were marital property having been accumulated during the marriage. It was divided equally between the parties. Husband appealed.
  Held: Reversed. The court of appeals determined from the evidence that the only reason the husband had begun receiving benefit payments was because of his disability. Otherwise, he would not be eligible for pension benefits until reaching retirement age under the plan. Further, the terms of the General Motor benefits provided that husband would receive the disability payments based on his years of service until either he reached age 65 (retirement age) or became capable of gainful employment. After age 65 the benefits would revert to being pension benefits in character. Thus, the benefits he was and would later be eligible for were partially marital and non-marital in character. The opinion notes that disability benefits are not marital property “… if they serve as a substitute for earnings lost due to the recipient's inability to work. In re: Marriage of Thomas, 21 S.W.3d 168,173 (Mo. App. S.D. 2000).”
  The case was remanded for a determination of which portion of the marital portion of the benefits will be awarded between the parties and to award husband the non-marital portion thereof.

Order of protection between brothers-in-law. Terry Pratt, Respondent, v. Chuck Lasley, Appellant, No. 65992 (Mo. App. W.D., January 16, 2007), Ellis, J.
  The two parties are brothers-in-law because they are each married to women who are sisters. Respondent was found to have assaulted the Petitioner and an order of protection was entered. The Respondent appealed asserting that the definition of family member in the statute (§455.020.1) did not apply since there is no blood relation between them.
  Held: Affirmed. “Had the legislature intended to limit the statute's applicability to those 'of kin' or related by cosanguinity or direct affinity as proposed by (respondent), the legislature would have used those terms in the statute.
  “The plain and ordinary meaning of the phrase 'related by marriage' includes one's brother-in-law.”

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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One very important, and often overlooked, factor to consider as part of your dissolution of marriage is a re-evaluation, (or first evaluation as is often the case) of your estate plan.   If there is no plan in place, the laws that will determine how your estate will be divided upon your death change significantly when you are divorced.  If there is a plan in place, you will most certainly want to make changes for your future to match the changes in your life today.  Below are some very basic points on estate planning from about.com:

If you have assets, no matter what your age, marital status, or financial wealth, you should plan your estate in the event of your death or incapacitation. If you should die without a sound estate plan, someone will be exposed to additional grief and expense. If you become incapacitated, your bills might not get paid. You could also be put on life support which is OK unless you have strong feelings about your life being prolonged artificially if you have no chance for recovery. A little preparation and maintenance could make this difficult time less taxing for those you love and who love you.

There are many reasons to have a sound estate plan but here are eight I feel are most important. If you should die or become incapacitated, a sound estate plan could:

1. save your family thousands of dollars
2. distribute your assets to those of your choosing, not of the government's choosing
3. designate who will raise your minor children
4. make sure someone is authorized to pay your bills
5. avoid conflicts among your family members
6. make sure your assets aren’t divided among your children’s ex-spouses
7. keep your children from frivolously spending the inheritance
8. prevent death taxes.

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I came across the following article on  about.com, and I thought that it contained some excellent points and considerations for those who are not only thinking of getting married or have been recently married, but evn for those of us who have been married for several years.  Of course, as a divorce attorney I see a lot of the intimate details of people's family life, and the lack of compatibility and/or planning of some married couples never ceases to amaze me.  No matter how you look at it, marriage is a serious, life changing decision, and it should not be taken lightly.  There is a reason that over half of all marriages end in diovrce, and many shouldn't have to.  I encourage everyone to think about these things, and thanks to authors Sheri and Bob Stritof for their insight.

Discuss These Issues Before Walking Down the Aisle

Many marriage education experts caution that when couples believe in the myths of "happily-ever-after" or "love conquers all," problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding.

The success or failure of your marriage relationship may hinge on how well you deal with issues such as finances, sexuality, communication, conflict, parenting, in-laws, leisure time, family of origin, spirituality, expectations, and chores.

Even though you may be very busy with wedding preparations, it is critical that you make time to prepare for your life time together by exploring your relationship in more depth.

Communication, along with a willingness to grow closer together, is one of the keys to a successful marriage.

General Issues to Talk About Before You are Married

·                                 Why are we getting married? Pregnancy, financial security, loneliness or wanting to get out of the family home are not valid reasons to get married.

·                                 What do we as a couple want out of life?

·                                 Do you have a criminal record?

Family of Origin Issues to Talk About Before You are Married

·                                 What was your childhood like?

·                                 Was your family an affectionate one?

·                                 Do you think we will have problems with your family during the holidays?

·                                 What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?

·                                 What do you like and dislike about your family?

Self Image Issues to Talk About Before You are Married

·                                 How would you describe yourself?

·                                 How do you think I see you?

·                                 Am I a jealous person?

·                                 Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?

·                                 How important is affirmation to me?

·                                 Do I handle compliments well?

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Divorce: Preplanning Strategies

Nobody marries with the expectation of failure. Married couples never contemplate that the person they once loved could later seem to be a stranger and perhaps even an enemy. Yet, statistics paint an ugly picture. Approximately 4 out of 10 marriages today end in divorce. In divorce proceedings, women lose financially, their standard of living may drop as much as thirty percent in the first year following a divorce. Men, may not suffer as great financially, however, they tend to lose precious time with their children.

One of the greatest contributors to divorce is the issue of "control" - either financial or personal. Who controls the bank account? Who sets the social agenda? When one partner to a marriage "controls", the other partner loses their sense of self. A divorce becomes imminent as the controlled partner tries to regain their self-esteem.

There are several simple and logical ways to protect yourself financially if you believe your marriage is in jeopardy:

1. Keep Non-Marital Assets Separate

Non-marital assets are not part of the assets divided in a divorce. Instead, they are considered the asset of either the husband or the wife and generally awarded to that person in a divorce proceeding. Categories of non-marital assets include:

• property you inherit;
• proceeds from personal injury awards (ie. Worker's compensation or accident proceeds);
• items owned prior to marriage; and
• gifts to one party rather than the family.

If non-marital assets are commingled with assets purchased or improved during the marriage, it may not be possible to claim the asset as yours in the event of divorce. However, some "tracing" of non-marital assets may be possible. For example, if a non-marital asset is sold during the marriage and the proceeds from the sale are used to purchase another asset, it may be possible to "trace" a non-marital interest in the new asset. For example, if a car owned before a marriage is sold during the marriage and the proceeds used to purchase a new vehicle, a party may be able to claim a non-marital interest in the new vehicle. To do so, it is very important to retain all documents demonstrating the sale of the asset and the use of the proceeds realized from the sale.

2. Establish Your Own Credit

Make sure your name is listed on all household accounts and investments. Establish at least one credit card in your own name. This will help to create an individual credit history. When you are on your own, you will have a better chance qualifying for loans, mortgages and credit cards. These are all important considerations after a divorce.

3. Review Your Financial Holdings Regularly

Maintain complete and separate records of your financial holdings such as bank accounts, IRA's, 401K, land purchases, and stocks. This includes assets in your spouse's name as well. You may wish to maintain copies of these records at your place of employment or in a safety deposit box in your name. Records have a way of disappearing after a divorce has been started.

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The following article has recently appeared on at least a few of the family law blogs, which I found to be particularly interesting.  Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog and the Georgia Family Law Blog for sharing this information with us.

Marriage has become a delicate venture. According to the U.S. Census bureau, about nine out of ten people will marry sometime in their lives, but about half of first marriages will end in divorce. And while some marriages end peacefully, with both sides agreeing to an equal and fair settlement, some do not, and the ensuing process can get quite vicious.

When ex-spouses significantly distrust each other, it is advisable to engage the services of a lawyer, especially if one or both do not understand their household finances and the economic implications of marital settlements. In turn, attorneys often hire CPAs as forensic accountants to help represent the spouse who doesn’t have access to the family’s financial information. In these cases, the forensic analysis might include reviewing financial data to determine its accuracy and reasonableness; determining each spouse’s standard of living and disposable income; locating hidden assets; and determining what property may be considered separate from marital property, especially if one of the spouses runs a closely held business. This type of work has created a highly focused segment for the profession: forensic accounting in divorce engagements.

Marriage: The Leading Cause of Divorce? Out of the more than 2 million marriages performed last year, 60% were the first marriage for both bride and groom. Unfortunately, for those first marriages that do end in divorce, the average length of a first marriage is only about eight years. The median duration of second marriages that end in divorce is only about seven years.       

Most newlyweds probably don’t think of their wedding day as the beginning of a personal business partnership: making money, budgeting, accumulating assets, and investing for the future. Nevertheless, couples should still plan how to divide this property at the blissful beginning, not the bitter end. This planning could take the form of a premarital agreement, which may not be a perfect document, but is generally enforceable in all 50 states. This is why both spouses must understand their household’s finances. It is not a good idea to allow one spouse to run all the finances while the other spouse knows nothing about it. After all, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with would never try to hide something from you … or would they?

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And in the fabulous world of family law entertainment news...

NASSAU, Bahamas (AP) — A Bahamian judge ordered a DNA test Tuesday on Anna Nicole Smith's infant daughter to identify the girl's father, an attorney for the baby's grandmother said, the latest chapter in a bitter custody feud sparked by the pinup's death last month.

Larry Birkhead, an ex-boyfriend of the former Playboy playmate who asked the judge to order the test on 6-month-old Dannielynn, pumped his fists in the air and jumped up and down as he emerged from the private court hearing.

"It's been a good day in court for me," he told reporters. Asked if he thought he would see the girl soon, he only smiled and winked.

Deborah Rose, an attorney for Smith's mother Virgie Arthur, confirmed that the judge ordered the test but she and others who attended the hearing declined to describe the proceedings.

Authorities left the building after the hearing and could not immediately be reached for comment.

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Modifying Child Support Order Requires Calculation Of Presumed Amount
On motion to modify child support, Circuit Court must determine presumed amount, and determine whether to accept or reject it, even when no party requested findings of fact.
Laura M. Klingseisen, n/k/a Laura Al-Amery, Petitioner/Appellant, v. Robert E. Klingseisen, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

No Continuing Change Needed To Modify Custody
Statutes do not require a continuing change for modification of custody, only for modification of child support. Despite Circuit Court's use of incorrect basis to deny motion to modify, Court of Appeals affirms because Circuit Court found that Child's best interests also favored denial. Awarding attorney fees based only on the parties' incomes, without regard to their expenses, is an abuse of discretion.
Misti L. Kinner, Formerly Isenbletter, Petitioner-Appellant/Cross-Respondent, v. Michael L. Scott, Respondent-RespondentCross-Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Order To Pay For Private School Not Supported In Record
To order a Parent to pay tuition for a private or parochial school, record must have evidence of Child's educational needs or parents' agreement. Court of Appeals affirms award of attorney fees to party who prevailed on issues in motion to modify, but such an award does not constitute maintenance.
Kenneth D. Goins, Appellant, v. Lori D. Goins, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

Paternity Determination Between Twins Affirmed
Blood tests showed that paternity by either twin was equally likely. Circuit Court was entitled to rely on other evidence, including testimony of Mother, to determine paternity. Affirmed.
State of Missouri, ex rel., Department of Social Services, Division of Child Support Enforcement, and Holly Marie Adams, Petitioners/Respondents v. Raymon Miller, Respondent/Appellant and Richard Miller, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Source for Post:  Missouri Bar

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The following post is information for clients who have paternity or custody actions pending in Eastern or Western Jackson county Missouri about the PTLA program which is required by the Court.

PTLA (Parenting Together Living Apart) is a parent educational program designed to teach parents who have never been married to each other but have children together the value of co-parenting their child(ren) cooperatively so as to maximize the healthy emotional development of their child(ren). This program is most effective when utilized prior to mediation. There is no cost for attendance.

Program Objectives:

• Parents will have a better understanding of the importance of co-parenting.
• Parents will practice positive communication skills.
• Parents will learn about child development states in parental conflict.
• Parents will increase positive parenting skills to work with each other cooperatively.

PTLA Curriculum:

• Parental responsibilities
• Children’s basic needs
• Why children need both parents
• Emotional reactions to the lost relationship
• Children’s developmental states in parental conflict
• Paternity establishment
• Positive co-parenting
• Effective communication skills
• Responsive discipline
• Parenting time suggestions

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The Oklahoma Family Law Blog had a great post yesterday offering tips for a smarter divorce.  The post is reproduced as follows:

The best advice about divorce would be to prevent it if possible; nearly half of all marriages end that way--sort of. In reality, from a cumulative point of view, less than 41% of all the marriages end by divorce. The 50% figure stems from the annual divorce rate and is misleading because the people divorcing each year are not, for the most part, the same ones who are marrying. But whether the U.S. divorce rate is below 41% or closer to oft-quoted 50%, the fact is that divorce is common and, sadly, seems here to stay.

Perhaps more interesting is the fact that some researchers have found that nearly 80% of divorces are unilateral, as opposed to something both parties want. If this statistic is correct, then four out of five divorces are unwanted by one of the spouses. If you are the one who wants out, you'll have the power to decide when and how to best to approach the split.

This advantage is critical because once a marital dissolution petition is filed, many jurisdictions impose automatic restraints against shifting assets or changing the status quo ante (the way things were, just before the filing). That can complicate things if you do not plan ahead. One the other hand, statistics tell us that 70% of divorce filings are by women. So men, it's not likely you'll control the timing of the split, though you might control the purse strings.

But no matter who files, planning a divorce, or defending against one, can feel like taking on a second job, with so much to consider. For example, if you are the one who wants out, you must weigh whether you can trust your spouse not to financially annihilate you just to spite your decision to leave. Will he or she do everything possible to destroy what you worked so hard to attain while the marriage was working? Are there steps you can take to minimize the damage of divorce, while protecting your relationship with your kids, your property and your income?

Moreover, for many individuals, a divorce involves more than just dealing with finances and the kids. It affects not just the immediate family but perhaps elderly parents that need to be looked after, not to mention relationships with extended family members, friends and even beloved in-laws. Because of the emotional upheaval, many couples benefit from therapeutic counseling, as well as financial planning, in the act of dismantling a life built for two.

The bottom line is that you need to protect your own interests, while still being reasonable, if possible. And though you might think your spouse will act prudently, don't count on it. Very few people encounter divorce without responding in an emotional way. In the words of Ben Franklin, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

You should be prepared for the chance that your divorce may become adversarial and that, for a while, your spouse will turn into a person you never knew existed. So try to bear in mind that while you may be taking an action that you think is merely rational, it's very possible that he or she will interpret your actions differently or, perhaps worse, offensively, creating more problems.

Naturally, with an iron-clad prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, the divorce process will proceed in a more predictable fashion. But even then, expect your spouse to fight the the agreement's enforceability based on grounds that it might be unconscionable now to enforce it, although it was perfectly fair when it was executed.

On the whole, divorce brings uncertainly that can breed anxiety, hostility or worse. But there are steps you can take to place yourself in a more advantageous position while you determine if your differences are irreconcilable or not.

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Attorney Peter Mullison in Denver Colorado has just launched a new blog, mycoloradodivorcelawyer.com, which looks to be a great resource for Colorado family law issues, particularly for those in the Denver area. Check it out here

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Standard of proof for modification of joint physical custody. Kimberly Russell n/k/a Kimberly Bichsel, Respondent v. Mark Russell, Appellant, No. 87917 (Mo. banc, January 9, 2007), Wolff, C.J.
  It is axiomatic that the modification of visitation only requires that the proposed change be in the best interest of the child whereas a modification of custody requires a more stringent standard of proof, i.e. that there has been a change in the circumstances of the child or custodial parent such that a modification is needed in order to serve the best interests of the child.
  The parties' original judgment granted them joint legal and physical custody of their three-year-old child. The schedule essentially had the child with mother during the work week and with father every weekend. Since that time, mother has become employed full time, and the child goes to school. Father now worked until late evening on most Fridays as well. The trial court changed the core schedule to begin father's custody on Saturdays at 9:00 a.m. and granted the mother the third weekend of each month. Other modifications not involving custody were entered, but not important to this summary. Father appealed because the trial court used the standard of proof for visitation modification.
  Held: Affirmed as to modification of custody. Section 452.410 RSMo addresses modifications of custody, and §452.400.2 addresses modifications of visitation.
  “The question here is which modification statute applies to a court's previous award of joint physical custody. A threshold matter in many modification cases will be whether the initial custody arrangement is, in fact, joint physical custody, as defined by statute.”
[§ 452.375.1(3)]. This opinion determined that this original judgment was for joint physical custody.
  “This case presents a clear example of one concern created by this legal paradigm shift (from sole custody/visitation to joint custody). Changes such as those the circuit court made here – essentially a few hours a week – are not as drastic as a shift from sole custody of one parent to sole custody of another parent. The requirement that the change be substantial is no longer appropriate where simple shifts in parenting time are at issue. Courts should not require a 'substantial' change from the circumstances of the original judgment where the modification sought is simply a rearrangement in a joint physical custody schedule.”
  Even though the trial court applied the visitation modification statute, its judgment can be affirmed by applying the correct standard.

Source for Post:  Missouri Courts Bulletin for February 2007

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Pension Was Marital And Non-Marital Property
Pension is a hybrid of marital and non-marital property; the former to the extent that it represents deferred payment of wages earned during the marriage, and the latter to the extent that it represents compensation for future wages lost due to disability. Remanded to Circuit Court to reconsider property and debt division, and maintenance awards.
Sandra Ray Coffman, Respondent v. Elvin Cale Coffman, Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

Separable Finality Did Not Apply
When a party to an action for dissolution of marriage dies, action continues if Circuit Court has already dissolved marriage "even though the order may be partial, interlocutory or not a final judgment resolving all issues in the case." But action abates if Circuit Court has not already made some order purporting to dissolve the marriage. Order nunc pro tunc cannot correct that omission.
Mary Ruth McMilian, Appellant, v. James Henry McMilian, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

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Considering the fact that financial issues are a significant cause of stress on the family, I thought the following article, recently published at msnbc.com provided some very useful information.  It is republished below:

Most Americans have no emergency savings, a new survey shows. The findings are consistent with a host of other surveys and government data that chronicle Americans' abysmal savings rate and, more important, our lack of preparedness for life's unexpected events.

Released Monday at a press conference designed to call attention to "America Saves Week," the survey by the Consumer Federation of America and other consumer agencies indicates that only 40 percent of adult Americans maintain separate emergency savings accounts. And about one-third of those savers have set aside less than $2,000 for that inevitable rainy day.

Even $2,000 is considerably less than the 3- to 6-months of living expenses that most personal finance advocates recommend as an emergency kitty. Coincidentally, it is exactly the amount Hurricane Katrina victims received in "expedited assistance" aid from the federal government in the days after the storm. Thousands of victims didn't get the benefits because of computer glitches and other technicalities, and many of them were left with nearly no means of support after their homes and jobs were washed out by the storm. The Katrina aftermath shined a harsh light on the financial preparedness of many American consumers.

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Conduct During Marriage Influences Judgment
Wife's inability to support herself due to health problems and lack of skills supports award of maintenance. Evidence of Wife's resources, from later hearing on attorney fees, is no basis for reversing Circuit Court's award of maintenance. Husband's use of resources, including extramarital affair, supports division of property and allocation of debt to him, and does not bar an award of attorney fees to Wife.
Pamela J. Russum, Respondent, v. Gerald E. Russum, Jr., Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

No Prejudice Need Be Shown On Departure From Statutes
Circuit Court accepted into evidence an amended social report from Children's Division to replace that filed originally with the petition. But Circuit Court never met with Juvenile Officer after filing of petition to assign report. Failure to strictly comply with statutes on termination of parental rights is reversible error, and "a parent facing termination bears [no] burden of establishing prejudice."
K.L.W., S.F.W., and L.S.W., In the Interest of. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — The melodramatic legal fallout from Anna Nicole Smith's death shifted Friday from where to bury the former Playboy Playmate to who gets custody of her baby, who could inherit millions.

Attorneys for Larry Birkhead, the photographer who claims to have fathered 5-month-old Dannielynn, planned to ask a Florida family court judge to enforce a California court's order that the infant's DNA be tested to prove paternity.

Smith's boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, and Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, also claim to be the father. Stern is listed as Dannielynn's father on the birth certificate.

On Thursday, a sometimes blubbering judge gave Richard Milstein, the court-appointed lawyer for Dannielynn, the power to resolve a dispute between Stern and Virgie Arthur, Smith's estranged mother, over where to bury Smith.

Milstein said she would be buried in the Bahamas next to her son, but gave no time frame.

In a bizarre, rambling statement from the bench, Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin choked up frequently but made it clear what he felt should be done.

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — Britney Spears' decision to check into rehab could help her in court as she to tries to retain custody of her two young children with estranged husband Kevin Federline, according to family law attorneys. That is, of course, if she actually completes a rehab program.

When Spears checked into Promises Malibu drug and alcohol rehabilitation center Thursday, it was said to be the third time in a week she has checked into a rehab center.

"It actually may reflect well on her that she's now gone back, if she stays and sees herself through the program," said Jason Adess, a family law attorney in Chicago. "That way she can present to the court that she has an issue, she has acknowledged the issue, she has gotten help and now she is able to resume primary custody of the children."

Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, confirmed in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Thursday that Spears is in the Malibu center. He provided no further details.

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — As Britney Spears was checking out of rehab for the second time in a week on Wednesday, her estranged husband was making plans to go to court amid a custody dispute over their two children.

Kevin Federline and his lawyer were scheduled to appear at a downtown courthouse Thursday for an emergency hearing, Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told The Associated Press. It was not known what issue Federline planned to raise.

Federline and Spears have two sons, 5-month-old Jayden James and 17-month-old Sean Preston.

"Our best information is he will be here; she won't," said Parachini. "But anything is possible."

Federline filed papers seeking spousal support and sole custody of the children after Spears sought to end their two-year marriage last November. A temporary court order issued Feb. 1 granted the couple joint custody until the end of this month.

article published by www.courttv.com

Parachini said Federline's lawyer would try to persuade a Superior Court commissioner that the matter is urgent enough to be handled on an expedited basis.

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Bankruptcy treats debts that were incurred in the course of a divorce or legal separation differently than run of the mill third party debts. The most common kinds of debts incurred during divorce are 1) the obligation of one spouse to pay the other a sum of money in connection with division of the marital property; and 2) the obligation to protect the other spouse from the debts to third parties awarded to the debtor for payment.

Section 523(a)(15) of the Bankruptcy Code makes debts incurred in divorce non dischargeable in Chapter 7 and Chapter 11 cases. Gone, in the amended bankruptcy code, is the provision that called for a weighing of the hardships that discharge might impose on the non debtor spouse. Such debts are now flat-out non dischargeable.

The distinction to be noted is that the debtor can discharge the obligation to Big Credit Card Company, awarded to him for payment in the divorce, but he can’t discharge his obligation to his ex to hold her harmless should Big Credit Card Company sue her for the debt.

In Chapter 13, however, those debts are dischargeable, without debate.

In every chapter in the bankruptcy code, spousal support, alimony and child support are non dischargeable.

Source for Post: Bankruptcy Law Network and Moran Law Group

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Mother's inability to discipline children appropriately, or protect them from Father's abuse, supported a termination of her parental rights under provisions related to abuse, neglect, and failure to rectify. Her repeat conduct after parenting classes was not a single incident, but was one of many and showed a failure to rectify. Evidence, including Children's improvement after separation from parents, supported finding that termination of parental rights was in Children's best interest.
In the Interest of F.C., M.C., and D.C., P.C.(S). Appellant, v. Missouri Department of Social Services, Children's Division, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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Father's continuing life of professional crime, romantic relationship with a 14-year-old, and uses of pornography supported Juvenile Court's judgment that Father had failed to rectify conditions and that termination of Father's rights was in Children's best interest.
In the Interest of K.A.W. and K.L.W. Children under Seventeen Years of Age. Greene County Juvenile Office, Petitioner/Respondent v. P.A.W., Respondent/Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Source for Post The Missouri Bar

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Circuit Court did not err in denying Father's unwritten motion for continuance that was unsupported by affidavit or Mother's consent. Father did not show that Circuit Court failed to divide property according to judgment because he offered no evidence of major asset. Father failed to show that Circuit awarded him any debt for which Mother had any liability. Circuit Court's failure to detail Father's visitation rights as provided by statute requires remand.
Donneta Kay Kamler, Respondent v. Steven Mel Kamler, Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

Source for Post The Missouri Bar

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I ran across this new blog yesterday which looks like a great resource for individuals and small businesses with intellectual property issues.  It is published by R. Scott Kimsey of Kimsey Patent Services in Boonville, Missouri.  Check it out at patentnotes.wordpress.com/

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Trial Court erred in failing to follow two-step procedure for determining Child support. Child's SSI from Father's disability does not constitute income to Father or credit for Mother. Evidence did not support imputation of income to Father. Child's conduct toward Mother does not support a reduction in Mother's obligation to Child, absent evidence of interference in their relationship.
Mark W. Gerlach, Appellant, v. Linda A. (Gerlach) Adair, Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

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The Kansas Family Law Blog had a great posting recently about the deductibility of attorney's fees, which I have set forth below.  For more information on this issue, see the tax archives of this blog

It’s that time of year again. Of course, the general rule is that lawyers’ fees and costs in connection with obtaining a divorce are not tax deductible. As with many general rules, there are exceptions:

1. Attorneys’ fees related to tax advice. I.R.C. §212(3). Areas having tax implications upon which an attorney may offer advice include the tax effect of the distribution of property, including retirement plans, tax deductibility of interest payments or installments to effectuate an equitable distribution of property, the allocation of the dependency exemption and child tax credit, whether a joint tax return should be filed, the tax effect of unallocated maintenance and child support, the tax implications of the form of alimony, and advice regarding the recapture of front end loaded maintenance in the first three years following separation.

Practice tip: it is not helpful for the client wishing to tax deduct some attorney fees to have a provision in the marital settlement agreement that no tax advice was given.

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Presumed correct support amount even if daycare paid separately. John Mitalovich, Appellant, v. Tammy Lee Toomey, Respondent, No. 87755 (Mo. App. E.D., November 21, 2006, Ahrens, P.J.
  This summary is strictly for the purpose of noting the proper findings in a judgment as to the presumed correct support amount for child support when work-related child care costs are being paid separately by the parties.
  Form 14 provides for allocation of the reasonable work-related child care costs of the custodial parent. Harrison v. Harrison, 871 S.W.2d 644 (Mo. App. 1994). In the present case, the trial court was required to either allocate that child care cost in conformity with the Form 14, or make a finding that the award of such an amount was unjust or inappropriate. Id. The trial court found that mother required daycare for the minor child, and there was evidence in the record to support this testimony. Therefore, the court was required to include that cost in the Form 14 calculation. (Emphasis added).

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The following are some infomative and useful tips on the sale of a residence in divorce from divorcehq.com

For many people going through a divorce their biggest asset is their home or in legal speak, the marital residence. Deciding what to do about the marital residence is often a major issue in a divorce. There are a few different options when it comes to splitting the marital residence.

One option is for one spouse to keep the house and buy out the other spouse's share. Another option is for one spouse to be granted exclusive use for a specified period of time, usually when the youngest child turns 18, after which the house will be sold. Finally, the house can be sold outright with the profits being allocated to each spouse.

Should you sell your house? Hard as it may be this is a decision that needs to be made devoid of emotions. As a practical matter take into consideration whether or not it is financially beneficial to keep the home. If not and you do decide to sell here are a few tips to help you through the process.

Time is money: Put your home on the market as far in advance as possible of purchasing a new one. Remember that when people buy and sell a home there usually is a domino effect. Closing and moving dates have to be coordinated, and the more firmly everyone commits to a window of dates and sticks to them, the better for all involved. Put all agreements about dates in writing, and protect yourself by negotiating financial penalties for failure to live up to the agreement.

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mvparents.com recently posted this article to help parents to initiate conversation and enhance communication with their children.  Below are some very helpful tips to keep communication going in your family.

Sometimes getting a teenager to talk is harder than getting a cat to follow instructions. And when things aren’t going well, talking sounds more like shouting. Nothing you say seems to register.

But it’s not always that way. Just when you least expect it, your kids share something unexpected and you rediscover the joy of glancing into the world of a maturing young adult.

Ideas you can use every day

Stay connected

• Talk about the everyday stuff every day — If your kids learn they can trust you with the “little stuff,” they’re more likely to come to you about the “big stuff.”
• Create times for talking — Expect everyone to have a family meal together. Turn off the music while you’re driving around. Play a board game instead of watching television.
• Be approachable — If kids think they’ll get a lecture or be judged every time they bring up an idea or a personal experience, they’ll shut down. Try to listen without judging and to ask questions without accusing. Show that you understand what your children are feeling by sharing similar experiences.
• Take concerns seriously — Sometimes it’s easy to dismiss children’s concerns or worries because, from an adult perspective, they’re not important. Don’t; don’t take them lightly, laugh at or tease them. If it’s important to your children, empathize and listen. They’ll learn that they can come to you about other things—some of which you’ll think are really important.
• Don’t wait — You don’t have to wait for an “important” conversation to have a good conversation. Find times to talk with your children every day about little stuff and big stuff and when you do talk, really listen to what they have to say.

Be intentional

• Wait — Whether they’re tired or upset, sometimes your children aren’t ready to talk. Give yourself and your children time and space, but don’t make it an excuse to avoid conversation.
• Listen for more than the words — What your children are “saying” may not come out in words. It may show through body language, tone or other actions. Listen carefully and try to understand the feelings behind the words, not just the words themselves.
• Think through the tough conversations — Sometimes you need to have difficult conversations. When the time comes, think it through in advance. What do you want to say? What questions do you need to ask? What can you do to make it go as well as possible?

Be creative

• Do something else — Many people don’t like “just talking.” They have better conversations when they’re shooting hoops, putting together a puzzle, hiking in the mountains or doing a service project together. Doing things together that both you and your children enjoy may be the best way to get a conversation going.
• Communicate without talking — There are lots of ways to communicate that you care besides talking. If your children don’t want to talk, leave a caring note, send a friendly email or just sit by their bed and give a backrub. You won’t have to say anything to communicate a lot.

Keep perspective

• Give time — Sometimes kids need space to work through things and figure out who they are. Give them time and space, but always let them know you’re there, you care and you’re ready to listen.
• Be patient — Sometimes you and your children will say things you regret. Other times you’ll miss opportunities for a great conversation. Relax, it’s perfectly normal. Despite the fact that you may already have a hard time talking, remember that you can always start a new conversation, even a simple one, that can help get you back on track. Learn. Forgive. And try again.

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Record supports Trial Court's order for anger management, and order is sufficiently specific to enforce. Trial Court did not stop Father from participating during in-chambers interview, and Child's statements in that procedure support custody order. Trial Court erred by issuing parenting plan that failed to address custody on Child's birthday and school holidays, requiring remand.   The entire opinion can be read at  In re the Marriage of: Patrick Lynn Murphey and Angelic Marie Murphey. Patrick Lynn Murphey, Petitioner/Appellant v. Angelic Marie Murphey, Respondent/Respondent.

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Divorce brings with it a lot of changes and a very real sense of loss. Kids - and parents - grieve the loss of the kind of family they had hoped for, and children especially grieve the loss of the presence of a parent. That's why some kids - even after the finality of divorce has been explained to them - still hold out hope that their parents will someday get back together. Mourning the loss of a family is normal, but over time both you and your child will come to some sort of acceptance of the changed circumstances.

So, how can you decrease the stress your child feels over the changes brought on by divorce? Mainly by learning to respond to his or her expressions of emotion. Here are some ways divorcing parents can help their children:

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From cnn.com

TRENTON, New Jersey (CNN) -- In a decision likely to stoke the contentious election-year debate over same-sex marriage, the New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that state lawmakers must provide the rights and benefits of marriage to gay and lesbian couples.

The high court on Wednesday gave legislators six months to either change state marriage laws to include same-sex couples, or come up with another mechanism, such as civil unions, that would provide the same protections and benefits.

The court's vote was 4-to-3. But the ruling was more strongly in favor of same-sex marriage than that split would indicate. The three dissenting justices argued the court should have extended full marriage rights to homosexuals, without kicking the issue back to legislators.

Advocates of same-sex marriage hailed the decision, a respite from many defeats this year in courts nationwide.

"That is wonderful news," said Cindy Meneghin, one of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit by seven same-sex couples that prompted Wednesday's decision. "We can only hope that that means marriage, because that is the only way they can give us full equality."  

Garden State Equality, a gay rights group, announced that three state legislators plan to introduce a bill to legalize same-sex marriage. In an e-mail to supporters, the chairman of the group, Steven Goldstein, vowed that only "over our dead bodies will we settle for less than 100 percent marriage equality."

The rest of this article can be read at www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/25/gay.marriage/index.html

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I found the following post on the divorcesupport.com blog, and it caught my attention because I have many cases where missing spuose/parent is in issue.  The post appears below, with a few comments following.

We hear from many spouses who are trying to get a divorce, but they do not no the whereabouts of their spouse. This is a common situation, especially if you have been separated for quite some time. The process for divorcing a missing spouse is somewhat more complicated and lengthy do to extra procedures one must follow. This type of divorce is commonly referred to as a “Divorce by Publication”.

A “Divorce by Publication” requires a spouse to prove to the court that he or she has made a legitimate attempt to local his or her husband or wife. In order to fulfill the requirements of the court a public legal notice announcing the filing of the divorce must be placed in the newspaper for a specified period of time (typically 30 days).

We suggest going through the following steps to try to locate your spouse. Who knows you may already be divorced.

1. Contact Friends and Family.
2. Call Information.
3. Contact Past Employers.
4. Do a Search Report at ussearch.com

If you do find your spouse, you can have him or her professionally served with your divorce paperwork. This will almost always speed up the process. What ever you do, do not intentionally avoid finding your spouse.

Believe it or not, this is not uncommon at all, regardless of the type of case.  The above is great advice, but in Missouri, it is not just as easy as just publishing notice and calling it a day.  Although service by publication is available in Missouri, a court can not do anything other than dissolve the marriage.  The court cannot divide marital property, set up custody or visitation, or award child support.  This means that in order to proceed in most cases, there must be personal service, and you must find the spouse/other party to obtain it.  I have had, and currently have, cases where people have spent thousands of dollars on investigators, process servers, searches, skip traces, etc. to try to find a missing spouse or  parent. This can add a significant amount of time and cost to your case, and if children are involved, can even negatively affect the entire outcome of the case.  For example, the court could lose jurisdiction over the children if the case is on file and too much time passes while trying to track down a spouse.  This creates a tremendous strategic disadvantage.

The lesson of the day here is that, particularly if kids are involved, the whereabouts of the other spouse (and kids)  should be known at all times.  The above points are great starts for trying to locate them, but it should never come to that.  Time, money, family, and future are all at stake to be lost.  However, If it is just a case where spouses have been separated for a long period of time and there are no kids, service by publication will usually suffice.

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Thirty days after it issues its judgment, Trial Court loses jurisdiction other than the modifications requested in timely motion and any necessary to correctly calculate child support. "In this case, when Husband petitioned the trial court to . . . re-calculate the . . . amount of support . . . , he automatically, albeit unwittingly, also asked the court to reexamine the propriety of this amount[.]"

The entire opinion can be read here

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Evidence showing Husband's abuse and attempts to co-opt Child into abusive behaviors supported order of restricted and supervised visitation. Testimony against Husband was not biased, just unfavorable. Trial Court erred in classifying property as separate even though there was no evidence to rebut the presumption that the property was marital, but such error did not cause property division to be so unduly weighted in either party's favor as to constitute an abuse of discretion.

Entire opinion of this case can be read here

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The Following practical tips are offered by New York Times/about.com author Jennifer Wolf on how to get through your first year as a single parent.

1. Develop a Support Network
   This is absolutely crucial. You need to know who you can depend on right now. Most likely, this network includes your immediate family and friends, but think about other people in your life who might also help you. Making an actual list of who these people are can help remind you that you're not alone. In addition, consider joining a formal support group for single parents.
2. Ask for Help
   This is one of the most difficult things to do. But there are people around you who would love to help! Keep in mind that allowing others to help you is a gift to yourself and to the person assisting you. Sharing in one another’s lives during difficult times affirms our human connection and brings a sense of purpose to everyday living.
3. Schedule Time to be Alone
   Time is a very powerful tool. It will bring you healing, hope, and perspective. Right now, it’s important that you create pockets of time in your life when you can just be. Time when you’re not accountable for completing a task or responding to questions. Time to sit, to think, to ponder.
4. Think Outside the Box
   If finding time to yourself sounds impossible, consider some creative solutions, like swapping babysitting time with a neighbor or waking up a half-hour before the rest of your household. The time that you give yourself is precious, and it will be fruitful in helping you to establish reserves of inner strength.
5. Be Present with Your Kids
   When you're with your children, make an effort to be emotionally present with them. It would be easy to retreat into your heart right now, but this is a time when your children truly need you more than ever. Simple activities like playing a board game or taking a walk together can go along way toward communicating the message that life will go on and they will, indeed, be okay.
6. Get the Facts About Your Situation
   You might be tempted to make quick decisions right now about where to live and how to handle your finances. However, ignorance in this area can be extremely dangerous, and so can making rash, uninformed decisions. For now, take the time to find out where you stand financially. Gather the necessary papers in order so that when you are emotionally ready to make changes, you'll be prepared and able to make informed decisions.
7. Grieve
   Expressing your feelings is important to your overall health. Consider writing in a journal or scheduling a regular "date" with a friend to vent, cry, and grieve. Single parents are born of many different situations. Whether you've experienced the loss of a spouse, the end of a marriage, or an adjustment to the dream you once held for your life, it is important to grieve and process the loss before moving on.
8. Pay Attention to your Physical Health
   This may be a time when you are feeling especially worn down and drained. Combat that by making the effort to eat healthy foods and choose energizing ways to fuel your body. Instead of relying on extra caffeine, try taking a walk at lunchtime. Additionally, getting adequate rest is crucial to your healing and ability to cope. Forgo the temptation to sit in front of the TV. Instead, read a book and retire early.
9. Identify What Gives You Strength
   In the past, how have you handled challenging times in your life? What most energizes you and reminds you that you possess the strength needed to meet the current challenge? Focus on what has worked for you in the past.
10. Let Go of What Isn't Working
    Likewise, let go of what has not worked for you. As you move through this first year, reflect on the habits and choices that have not served you well, and decide to change them. In addition, if there are things from the past that you cannot change, let go of unhealthy guilt and remorse.
11. Focus on the Positive
    This is a time of new growth in your life. Take the time to think about the things that are going well for you. Having a positive attitude - even in the midst of extreme circumstances - can empower you to move ahead and provide your children with a tangible example of the coping strategies you want them to adopt.

Source for Post: singleparents.about.com

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The following are some tips for communicating with with your child during and after divorce.  Thanks to the folks at  divorcesupport.com for this great information

Remember to be as open as possible, which will reinforce and even enhance your trust for one another. Many parents find that they do communicate better during divorce and/or separation because it is the first time in a while that they were forced to have meaningful conversations. This is not necessarily the reason in your case, but divorce and/or separation can create a stronger parent-child bond. Communicating effectively with your child actually gives him or her the sense of greater responsibility and respect. In conversation, be sure to listen and allow your child to express his or her own opinions.

Strategies and Tactics to Improve or Continue Good Communication:

- Pick a place where you both feel comfortable.

- Never criticize the other parent in conversation. This includes all body gestures, like the rolling of the eyes or shrugging.

- Stay calm when things get a little heated and avoid quick irrational responses.

- Never use threats or ultimatums.

- Stay on the topic of conversation. If another issue comes up, write it down and discuss it at a later time.

- Look, don’t just listen, for your response. Facial Expressions are as telling as words.

- Do not interrupt your child.

- Do not talk down to your child as if he or she does not understand.

- Avoid saying, “If you were older you would know what I am talking about”, because your child will interpret this as your excuse for being wrong.

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Divorce is stressful for parents and children alike. Although children's emotional reactions usually depend on their age at the time of the divorce, many children experience feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety - and it's not uncommon for these feelings to be expressed in their behavior. Often, the child's emotional reaction can be quite different than the parent's, and it's important to understand these differences. For example, a parent may feel a sense of relief that a difficult period is coming to some resolution, whereas the child may feel a sense of loss.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your child during a divorce. By minimizing the stress the situation creates and responding openly and honestly to your child's concerns, you can help your child through this difficult time.

As soon as you're certain of your plans, talk to your child about your decision to divorce. Although there's no easy way to break the news, both parents should be present when a child is told, and feelings of anger, guilt, or blame should be left out of the conversation. At best, this is a difficult message to communicate, but if you handle it sensitively, you can help make it less painful for your child.

Although the discussion about divorce should be tailored to your child's age and development, all children should receive the same basic message: "Mommy and Daddy used to love each other and were happy, but now we're not happy and have decided we'd be happier apart. What happened occurred between us, but we will always be your parents and we will always be there to love and take care of you."

It's important to emphasize that your child is in no way to blame for the breakup and that the unhappiness is not related to him or her. Children tend to blame themselves for the failure of their parents' marriages, and they need to be reminded frequently that it is not their fault. Finally, your child may question whether your love for him or her is temporary (because it was with your spouse); reassure your child that even though you're getting a divorce, you love him or her permanently and unconditionally.

When it comes to answering questions about your divorce, it's important to give kids enough information so that they're prepared for the upcoming changes in their lives but not so much that it frightens them. Try to keep your feelings neutral and answer your child's questions in an age-appropriate way and as truthfully as possible. Remember that kids don't need to know all the details; they just need to know enough to understand clearly that although divorce means separating from a spouse, it doesn't mean parents are divorcing their kids.

Not all children react the same way when told their parents are divorcing. Some ask questions, some cry, and some have no initial response at all. For kids who seem upset when you break the news, it's important for parents to let them know that they recognize and care about their feelings and to reassure them that it's OK to cry.

For example, you might say, "I know this is upsetting for you, and I can understand why," or "We both love you and are so sorry that our problems are causing you to feel this way." If your child doesn't have an emotional reaction right away, let him or her know that there will be other times to talk.

Most children are concerned with how the divorce will affect them:

• Who will I live with?
• Will I move?
• Where will Mommy live or where will Daddy live?
• Will I go to a new school?
• Will I still get to see my friends?
• Can I still go to camp this summer?

Be honest when addressing your child's concerns and remind him or her that the family will get through this, even though it may take some time.

Source for Post: www.kidshealth.org

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In its simplest form, a deposition is the giving of oral testimony under oath before trial.  Depositions are conducted in front of a court reporter and will assist your attorney in the preparation for trial.  The use of oral depositions is a standard procedure in family law cases for discovering relevant and material facts, determining the strategy of the case, and searching the concience of the person being deposed (called the deponent).

It is very important to take the deposition seriously.  As a deponent, the attorney taking the deposition is searching for ways to discredit the deponent, obtain information, and obtain admissions.  The defending attorney is seeking to avoid harmful admissions, present the facts in the best light possible, and to protect the deponent's creditability.

You should remember that the deposition is usually the first chance the opposing attorney has a chance to see you, so you must make a good impression, and treat the deposition as if you were appearing in court.  You should do the following:

1.  Be clean and wear neat, conservative clothing

2. Be respectful

3.  Tell the truth to all questions asked

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In Missouri, generally, for a parent to modify child support, they must show a substantial and continuing change in circumstances that warrant a change in support.  Missouri law states that if there is a 20% increase or decrease in the incomes of one of the parents, that, by itself, will meet the change in circumstances requirement.  However, according to a recent ruling by the Missouri Court of Appeals, that will only apply if the Form 14 presumed amount of child support is used. 

In Selby v. Selby, the Missouri Court of Appeals for the southern district held that when a child support amount is based on an agreement between the parties deviating from the Form 14, in this case an agreement to zero, then a party wishing to modify will have to show that they cannot support the child/ren in a manner contemplated at the time of the agreement.  Although it may be the case that the income of a parent has changed by more than 20%, that by itself will not be enough if the moving party can still support the children in the same manner as before.  It would appear that evidence of the children's current expenses, evidence as to how much the children's expenses have increased, and evidence of the change in parties income in the intervening years would need to be shown.

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Separation Agreement gave Amway distributorship to Wife for monthly payments to Husband. That payment was considered support because nothing else provided maintenance, the payment was in installments, it was subject to modification based on Amway profits, and it terminated on death of Husband. Trial Court erred in characterizing Wife's debt to Husband as a property settlement, dischargeable in bankruptcy, rather than nondischargeable support.

Author’s caveat: This case was decided under the bankruptcy law as it was before October 17, 2005. Under the new bankruptcy law, all domestic support obligations, which include alimony, child support, and property division, are generally non-dischargeable in bankruptcy.

To read further: Alticor, Inc., and Quixtar, Inc., Plaintiffs, v. Harold W. Grissum, Defendant-Appellant, and Joyce C. Soldi, Defendant-Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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Attorney's fees for professional services by a divorce attorney can be deductible, but not in their entirety.  Fees attributed to a dissolution of marriage are not deductible, which includes pleadings, court appearances, and non-tax related negotiations, custody, visitation, and child support fees.  You can only deduct for services performed in connection with actual tax advice and/or advice that gives rise to taxable income. Only fees attributable to alimony, which is taxable to the recipient, qualifies for the production of taxable income.  The alimony must be paid 1) in cash, 2) to or on behalf of the recipient, 3)pursuant to a decree or agreement, 4)as not designated as non-taxable, 5) for parties whose status of marriage changes and they live in separate households, 6) for a term ending with the death of the payee, 7) as not fixed as child support, and8) for parties who file separate returns. 

Fees for collecting delinquent taxable alimony are deductible, as are fees for seeking an upward modification in alimony, but not downward.  Fees for collection of child support are not deductible and neither are fees for obtaining or protecting income producing property.

Fees that are deductible can only be deducted as part of miscellaneous itemized deductions, and they must be aggregated with other miscellaneous itemized deductions, only to the extent that they exceed two percent of the taxpayer's AGI (adjusted Gross Income).  If the itemized deductions do not meet this threshold, then nothing is deductible. 

Furthermore, in addition to the itemized deduction limitation, if AGI exceeds a particular thresh hold, the amount of itemized deduction allowed is reduced by 3% of the excess of AGI over the thresh hold or 80% of the amount of the itemized deductions allowable for the tax year.

If you wish to attempt to deduct fees for your divorce case, consult with a tax expert and ask your attorney for an itemized listing of the deductible and non-deductible fees charged for your case.

Source for Post - Family Advocate Vol 27 No. 3

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Trial judge is prohibited from ordering ex-husband to submit to genetic testing where previous divorce judgment found that ex-husband was not the father of child, where child was represented by a guardian ad litem (“GAL”) and where husband and wife agreed that husband was not the father. Failure to join the putative father did not deprive the court of jurisdiction but was merely reversible error which was waived. State of Missouri ex rel. Robert J. Conners, Relator v. Sara J. Miller and Honorable Cary Augustine, Respondents, No. 65748 (Mo. App. W.D., June 30, 2006), Lowenstein, J.

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Under a federal law called the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA for short), Missouri courts are empowered to divide a service members disposable retired pay in the same manner as property.  Since disposable retired pay is a federal government entitlement and not a pension plan, the rules under ERISA do not apply,  and the entitlement does not require a Qualified Relations Domestic Order.  However, certain restrictions and requirements do apply for a spouse to receive a portion of the retired pay.

In all cases where a member is on active duty at the time of divorce, the member's rights under the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act must be observed.  Also, a member must be married for 10 years during which the member performed at least 10 years of creditable military service.  This is called the10/10 rule.  It is important to note, however, that a service member is not even eligible to receive disposable retired pay unless he or she has served for at least 20 years.  A spouse or former spouse cannot receive something that the service member is not entitled to receive.

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If you are contemplating filing for divorce, or if you are already involved in a proceeding, it is critically important for your attorney to have a complete financial picture of both spouses.  This includes income, asset, and debt information for both parties to the action. The earlier this information is gathered, the better.  By being prepared BEFORE the case is filed, you can help your attorney discover income or assets that your spouse may be hiding, and you can save time and money as information gathering becomes harder after the parties split and/or the tensions of the litigation take hold.

The following is a general list of documents that you should have available or readily accessible when you begin your case:

1. Income Tax Returns. Completed personal, corporate, partnership, joint venture,

or other income tax returns, state and federal, including W-2, 1099, and K-1

forms, in your possession or control for the last 3 years.

2. Income Information. Current income information, including payroll stubs and all

other evidence of income since the filing of your last tax return.

3. Personal Property Tax Returns filed in this state or anywhere else from the start

of the marriage..

4. Banking Information. All monthly bank statements, passbooks, check registers,

deposit slips, canceled checks, and bank charge notices on personal and business

accounts, certificates of deposit, and money market and retirement accounts from

banks, savings and loan institutions, credit unions, or other institutions in which

you or your spouse has an interest.

5. Financial Statements submitted to banks, lending institutions, or any other persons

or entities, which were prepared by you or your spouse at any time during

the last five (5) years.

6. Any Loan Applications made within the last five (5) years.

7. Brokerage Statements. Monthly statements from all accounts of securities and/or

commodities dealers or mutual funds maintained by you or your spouse during

the marriage, and held individually, jointly, or as a trustee or guardian.

8. Stocks, Bonds and Mutual Funds. Certificates, if available, of accounts owned by

either spouse during the marriage or pre-owned by you.

9. Stock Options. All records pertaining to stock options held in any corporation or

other entity, exercised or not exercised.

10. Pension, Profit Sharing, Deferred Compensation Agreement, and Retirement

Plans or any other kind of plan owned by you or by any corporation in which

you or your spouse has been a participant during the marriage, including annual

statements.

1. Income Tax Returns. Completed personal, corporate, partnership, joint venture,
or other income tax returns, state and federal, including W-2, 1099, and K-1
forms, in your possession or control for the last 3 years.

2. Income Information. Current income information, including payroll stubs and all
other evidence of income since the filing of your last tax return.

3. Personal Property Tax Returns filed in this state or anywhere else from the start
of the marriage..

4. Banking Information. All monthly bank statements, passbooks, check registers,
deposit slips, canceled checks, and bank charge notices on personal and business
accounts, certificates of deposit, and money market and retirement accounts from
banks, savings and loan institutions, credit unions, or other institutions in which
you or your spouse has an interest.

5. Financial Statements submitted to banks, lending institutions, or any other persons
or entities, which were prepared by you or your spouse at any time during
the last five (5) years.

6. Any Loan Applications made within the last five (5) years.

7. Brokerage Statements. Monthly statements from all accounts of securities and/or
commodities dealers or mutual funds maintained by you or your spouse during
the marriage, and held individually, jointly, or as a trustee or guardian.

8. Stocks, Bonds and Mutual Funds. Certificates, if available, of accounts owned by
either spouse during the marriage or pre-owned by you.

9. Stock Options. All records pertaining to stock options held in any corporation or
other entity, exercised or not exercised.

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According to the Associated Press, A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by the National Center for Men, dubbed "Roe v. Wade for Men".   The father of the child claimed that he should not have to pay child support to the mother of the child because she knew good and well that he didn't want to have a child and she assured him that she couldn't get pregnant because of a medical condition.

He argued that if a pregnant woman can choose amoung abortion, adoption, or rasising a child, then a man in an unintended pregnancy can bail out on supporting the child under the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution.   After the father sued the state over the $500 per month support order,  the judge rejected the argument because the father "failed to see that the state played no role in the conception or birth of the child, or in the decisions that resulted in the birth of the child."

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How to find property your spouse may be concealing when you divorce.

This list includes common ways in which a spouse may undervalue or disguise marital assets:

• Antiques, artwork, hobby equipment, gun collections, and tools that are overlooked or undervalued. Look for antique furnishings, original paintings, or collector-level carpets at the office.
• Income that is unreported on tax returns and financial statements.
• Cash kept in the form of travelers' checks. You may be able to find these by tracing bank account deposits and withdrawals.
• A custodial account set up in the name of a child, using the child's Social Security number.
• Investment in certificate "bearer" municipal bonds or Series EE Savings Bonds. These do not appear on account statements because they are not registered with the IRS. (The government is phasing out these bonds, realizing that it is losing a lot of money.)
• Collusion with an employer to delay bonuses, stock options, or raises until a time when the asset would be considered separate property.
• Debt repayment to a friend for a phony debt.
• Expenses paid for a girlfriend or boyfriend, such as gifts, travel, rent, or tuition for college or classes.
• Retirement accounts that your spouse never tells you about.

In addition, business owners may try to hide assets in these ways:

• Skimming cash from the business.
• Salary payments to a nonexistent employee, with checks that will be voided after the divorce.
• Money paid from the business to someone close -- such as a father, mother, girlfriend, or boyfriend -- for services that were never actually rendered (asuming the money is given back to your spouse after the divorce is final).
• A delay in signing long-term business contracts until after the divorce. Although this may seem like smart planning, if the intent is to lower the value of the business, it is considered hiding assets.

When you're looking for these items, you may have difficulty finding them or getting the proof you need to show they exist. Formal discovery procedures through litigation may help. For instance, you could take the deposition (legal interview) of your spouse's boss or payroll supervisor. But you may also need to hire a forensic accountant or a private investigator. (A forensic accountant is an accountant who is trained to look into accounting practices in order to gather evidence that can be used in court.) Usually an attorney can refer you to these specialists.

Document Your Finances Before Filing for Divorce

If you suspect that your spouse may attempt to hide assets, it's best to start investigating your household and business finances before initiating divorce proceedings. Make copies of important documents such as tax returns from the past several years, bank account statements, pay stubs, and any other documents that reflect joint assets or debts. Keep copies of these documents outside the home if you're still living with your spouse or partner.

Copyright © 2006 Nolo

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QUESTION:

My fiancée has asked about putting her name on the deed to my house after we get married. I don't want to do that in case things don't work out and we divorce. But I've heard that when I marry all of my assets automatically become half hers, anyway. I should say that I will be the only one paying for the mortgage and home improvements. What does the law say, and will a premarital agreement remedy the situation?

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Understand what you can accomplish by making a prenuptial contract before you marry.

If you're trying to decide whether or not to make a prenuptial agreement, you'll need to understand what this type of contract can -- and can't -- do for you.

What You Can Do With a Prenup

Prenuptial agreements are most often used for the following puposes:

Keep finances separate. Every state has laws designating certain kinds of assets accumulated during marriage as marital property or community property, even if these assets are held in the name of just one spouse. If a couple divorces, or when one spouse dies, the marital or community property will be divided between them, either by agreement or by a court. If you want to avoid having some or all of your individual accumulations during marriage divided up by a court, you can do so with a premarital agreement.

Protect each other from debts. Some of us bring debts, as well as assets, to a marriage. If there's no prenup, creditors can sometimes turn to marital or community property to satisfy the debts of just one spouse. But if you want to make sure that saying "I do" does not mean saying "I owe," you can use a prenup to limit your liability for each other's debts.

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Learn about tax breaks available to most parents.

New parents often find themselves overwhelmed by the expenses that come with a baby. From nursery furnishings to "onesies" to countless diapers, your little bundle of joy is going to cost you, well, a bundle. Fortunately, the federal government offers a number of tax breaks to offset the cost of raising a child. Here you'll learn about two tax breaks for which most parents qualify: the dependent exemption and the child tax credit.

The Dependent Exemption

You might be surprised to learn that the IRS does not tax every single dollar that you earn. Instead, the IRS gives you a very modest tax exemption ($3,200 per person in 2005) to cover your basic living expenses. Single people can take one exemption for themselves. Married couples can take two exemptions (one for each of them).

When you add a new child to your family, you can add one more exemption to your income taxes -- called a "dependent exemption." This means that you get an additional tax deduction of more than $3,000 every year until your child turns 19 -- a nice baby gift from Uncle Sam!

In terms of actual tax savings, the amount you save with the dependent exemption depends on your tax bracket. The higher your tax bracket, the more savings you get -- unless your income is so high that you cannot claim the exemption at all (see below). For example, if you were in the 10% tax bracket, you would save about $320 per child with the dependent exemption in 2005. But if you were in the 25% tax bracket, the dependent exemption would save you $800 per child.

Like many tax breaks, however, the dependent exemption is phased out for higher earning families. For the 2004 tax year, for example, married couples filing jointly could not claim the dependent exemption at all if their adjusted gross income was more than $336,550, and they lost a portion of their dependent exemption if their adjusted gross income exceeded $214,050.

If you qualify for the dependent exemption, claiming it on your tax return is easy. Simply complete line 6C of Form 1040 or Form 1040A, making sure to provide a Social Security number or Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number for your child in column 2. (See Social Security Numbers and Why Your Baby Needs One.) Also be certain to complete line 41 of your Form 1040 or line 26 of your Form 1040A.

The Child Tax Credit

The dependent exemption is not the only tax break that parents can claim. Provided that your income is below a certain limit ($130,000 for married couples filing jointly in 2004), you can also claim the child tax credit. The child tax credit trims your tax bill by $1,000 per child. Because it is a credit, and not a deduction, the child tax credit gives you $1,000 back in your pocket for every child that you have.

To determine the amount of the child tax credit you can claim, complete the child tax credit worksheet contained in IRS Publication 972, Child Tax Credit. (You can download this publication for free from the IRS website at www.irs.gov.) Then enter the amount of your child tax credit on your tax return (line 51 of Form 1040 or line 33 of Form 1040A). Also complete line 6C of Form 1040 or Form 1040A and provide a Social Security number or Adoption Taxpayer Identification Number for each child. Finally, check the box in column 4 of line 6c for each child for whom you are claiming the child tax credit.

Copyright © 2005 Nolo

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The hards facts just don't lie. Divorce and bankruptcy sometimes go together. In an effort to help you understand what the changes in the new law will mean to those facing bankruptcy after October 17th, I have provided an article from Nolo.

Here are some of the major changes you should know about.

Now that the new bankruptcy law is in effect, the landscape has changed for those who are considering bankruptcy. All debtors will have to get credit counseling before they can file a bankruptcy case -- and additional counseling on budgeting and debt management before their debts can be wiped out. Some filers with higher incomes won't be allowed to use Chapter 7, but will instead have to repay at least some of their debt under Chapter 13. And, because the law imposes new requirements on lawyers, it will be tougher to find an attorney to represent you in a bankruptcy case.

Here are some of the most important changes.

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