Missouri Divorce and Family Law Blog : Kansas City Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Wortman Law Firm

As a practicing family and bankruptcy attorney, I consistently run into cases where people are dealing with both a divorce (or other family law related matter), as well as a bankruptcy.  This is because, many times, one is the cause of the other (this works both ways), and the cases often go hand in hand. That is probably no surprise considering the current economic climate, and if this applies to you, believe me, you are far from alone. Check out the numbers:  

Bankruptcy filings in the federal courts rose 31.9 percent in calendar year 2009, according to data released by the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts. The number of bankruptcies filed in the twelve-month period ending December 31, 2009, totaled 1,473,675, up from 1,117,641 bankruptcies filed in 2008.

Filings have grown steadily since 2006, when bankruptcy filings totaled 617,660, in the first full 12-month period after the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005 (BAPCPA) took effect. An historic high in the number of bankruptcy filings was seen in 2005, when over 2 million bankruptcies were filed just before BAPCPA took effect.

Filings by Chapter
In 2009, filings rose under Chapters 7, 11, 12 and 13 of the U.S. bankruptcy code.

·       Chapter 7 filings totaled 1,050,832 up 41 percent from the 744,364, Chapter 7 filings reported in 2008.

·       Chapter 11 filings rose 50 percent to 15,189, up from the 10,147 filings in 2008.

·       Chapter 13 filings were 406,962, up 12 percent from the 362,705 filings in 2008.

·       Chapter 12 filings totaled 544, up 58 percent in 2009, compared to 345 Chapter 12 bankruptcy filings in CY 2008.

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Child support in Missouri can continue after the child turns 18, and until 21, if the child is attending a post high school education program, provided that several requirements are met.  (See RSMo section 452.340.5 below in the extended post).   One such requirement is that the child be continuously enrolled in the education program. A recent ruling from the Court of Appeals held that temporary breaks during the education, in this case a vocational program, do not violate the continuous enrollment requirement. The Court stated that the statute clearly contemplates a reasonable semester-long break, which is the summer break in a traditional college schedule, from post-secondary schooling. The statue does not require a post-secondary student to attend school for over a year without a break, or until 21 with no break whatsoever.

In the recent case, the student was attending a vocational program that had a course schedule in 60 week blocks (a year and a few months), and the non-custodial parent attempted to terminate the child support and emancipate the child when the child took a 10 week break, not enrolling in the next session immediately after the previous one. The trial court agreed and ordered the child emancipated, but the Court of Appeals reversed, stating that a child should not have additional burdens placed on him or her simply because they attend a vocational program rather than a traditional college.  See below for the complete text of the relevant statute.

Continue Reading...

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In a recent termination of parental rights case, the Court stated that statutory grounds of abandonment, neglect, and unfitness require clear, cogent, and convincing evidence. The Incarcerated parent’s diligent efforts at maintaining contact with child refuted such allegations. The “Child may suffer from Father’s absence, but getting in trouble before he knew about Child is no proof that Father now wants no relationship with her.” Failure to send money from 28¢ per day wages was de minimis. Incarceration does not raise the presumption of unfitness. The child’s best interests require only preponderance of evidence, but the issue never arises until statutory grounds are established. 

The entire opinion can be read here.

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In cases involving children, the Court must, either by agreement or by trial, set up some sort of custodial arrangement for the kids involved. There are many options available, all of which fit under a just a few legally recognized categories. There are as many if not more “definitions” of custody floating around out there that don’t actually mean anything legally. People usually have at least some idea of what it is that they are seeking in their minds, but they have trouble defining it. So here we go with a little Child Custody 101 to assist those with their initial case preparation:

Legal Custody. This is one of the two types of custody that must be determined by a Missouri Court in all cases. The legal aspect of custody means decision making and parental authority, basically. It means having the legal right to make (and participate in) any material decisions affecting the children.  Included are the choice or change of school, college, camp, or comparable summer activity, special tutoring, music, sports, art, dance, and other cultural lessons, psychological or psychiatric treatment or counseling, doctors, and surgeons; notice of illness and injury; access to school and medical records; and all other material decisions affecting the health, education, and welfare of the children. Specifically, decisions regarding educational instruction, religious instruction, health care, discipline, and child care providers are included in the model parenting plan, but anything relevant to the children could be included in the definition. Legal custody can be granted to one or both parents, but the overwhelming preference is for joint legal custody. 

Physical Custody. This is the second aspect of custody that must also be determined. Physical custody simply means the right to have actual physical possession of the children at a certain specified time. The preference is for joint physical custody, which only means that both parents have the right to physical possession of the children at certain times. The actual schedule can vary greatly, however, and this is where tailoring to the specific needs of the family is important. Joint physical custody could be an alternate weekend schedule, alternate weeks, holidays and spring break only, summertime only, 3 day/4 day, 5 day/2 day, 50/50, open ended, or whatever other schedule is appropriate for the case. Just as a note, in a 50/50 joint physical parenting schedule, reduced child support is still usually paid in some form or another.

Joint Custody. As discussed above, this is the preferred arrangement and will usually be awarded unless a physical or emotional danger to the child is demonstrated. The Court has to determine whether joint custody is appropriate as to both the legal and physical aspects of custody.

Sole Custody. This is the alternative to joint custody where only one parent is granted either all of the decision making rights (sole legal custody) or all of the physical parenting time with the other parent  being excluded completely (sole physical custody), or both. Courts are reluctant to order either of these options unless it is shown to be in the children’s best interests, which usually means that physical or emotional danger to the children will occur under any other alternative. Also, as many times as I have seen it, there is no such thing as sole physical custody to one parent along with a parenting schedule for the other parent. If both parents are to see the children, whatever the schedule, that is joint physical custody by definition.

Split Custody.  This is an arrangement where the children are “split up” between the two parents, meaning that some of the children reside with one parent while the other children reside with the other parent. This is not too common, but it does happen. Courts are usually reluctant to split up children except in the most unique of circumstances, but the parents can agree to such an arrangement if they feel it is best.

Full Custody. There is no definition of Full Custody in Missouri and it has no legal significance.  When referring to this, people are talking about some combination of the above types of custody.

Primary Custody. This is no longer a legal definition in Missouri.   Now it is called “residential address for education and mailing purposes.” It usually means the home where the children reside for the greater amount of time, and the home that is in the children’s school district. The parents are supposed to be equal so they are no longer referred to as the primary parent and the lesser parent.

Visitation. This is the time where you view the body before a funeral.  So, if you are talking about your kids, call it something else, like “parenting time”.

Hopefully, this helps to clarify a little bit, but when it comes down to it, it is still just a bunch of words on paper. Put the children first, focus on what is best for them and what will really work with your family, and don’t get too wrapped up in the terminology.  

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The Kansas Missouri Lawyers Blog had a great post recently discussing a recent Missouri ruling regarding the termination of maintenance (Alimony) payments when a former spouse remarries.  The complete article is as follows:

The Missouri Court of Appeals recently held that absent an express agreement otherwise maintenance (alimony) payments terminate upon the recipient’s remarriage. The Court went on to hold that the use of the word “only” was insufficient to show this express agreement. See the opinion here.

In this case, husband and wife divorced in October of 2003. The judgment included a provision requiring the husband to pay his former wife periodic, modifiable maintenance of $500 per month. This maintenance arrangement was later amended by the parties. As part of this stipulation, the parties stated that “The maintenance obligation herein should terminate upon [the wife's] death.” The lower court’s modified judgment setting forth the stipulation stated, “Said maintenance obligation shall only terminate upon the death of [the wife] or September 30, 20011, which occurs first.” (emphasis added).

The wife remarried thereafter, and husband filed a motion to terminate his maintenance obligation. The Court noted that Section 452.370.3 provides in relevant part, “Unless otherwise agreed in writing or expressly provided in the judgment, the obligation to pay future statutory maintenance is terminated upon the death or either party or the remarriage of the party receiving maintenance.” Based on its interpretation and judicial precedent, the Court held, “[I]n order to rebut the statutory presumption that maintenance terminates upon the receiving spouse’s remarriage, a dissolution decree must expressly refer to the receiving spouse’s possible future remarriage, and must expressly provide that maintenance payments shall continue beyond that contingency.”

Thus, at least in Missouri, parties to a divorce, working with their attorneys, must carefully draft separation and maintenance agreements to capture the parties’ wishes. In particular, if the parties wish that maintenance payments will continue indefinitely or for sometime after the recipient’s remarriage, the parties must state this fact by expressly referencing remarriage and describing its consequences.

Thanks again to the Kansas Missouri Lawyer's Blog, a great legal resource for people in the Kansas City area, for this case law update.

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I can’t think of how many times that I have had a client tell me, regardless of what the issue is that is in dispute, that the opposing party is “just worried about money” or that it is “all about the money” for him or her, and that is their sole motivation in the case. Or maybe it is the other way around. My usual response is “isn’t it always?” There are so many financial aspects of divorce that have to be balanced that if parties aren’t careful, they can end up in a big money mess. Here are a few of the big ones:

1.       2 households instead of one: Before a couple or family divorces, they live in one residence with one set of bills and expenses, paid by however much money the couple/parents bring in. Upon divorce, the same level of income still exists, but now there are two mortgages/rent, two sets of utilities, two sets of grocery bills, two car payments, relocation expenses, first and last month’s rent, and so on. Basically, double or so the expenses on the same income.  It is not hard to see how difficult this is in and of itself.

2.       Debts. These days, many families are just a paycheck or two away from real trouble with credit cards and other unsecured debts, and if there are significant debts involved in the divorce, a real challenge exists. Sure the court can divide the debts and assign liability to each spouse, but it doesn’t do much good if the net marital estate is significantly reduced or eliminated by the debt. A divorce is a separation of financial livelihoods, and when possible, it is a good idea to use assets in the marital estate to reduce or eliminate debt before dividing assets. The less debt after the divorce the better for both parties, even if on paper one spouse is supposed to be responsible for it. It is a future fight or bankruptcy filing waiting to happen.

3.       Child Support: Quite simply, nobody is happy with it. If you have to pay it, it is going to be perceived to be too much, and if you are receiving it, it is perceived to not be enough.  In Missouri child support is largely a mathematical calculation based on incomes and other expenses, and to some degree it is what it is.   But regardless, it another factor affecting the same level of income pre-divorce, and it will never make a party “whole” or maintain a pre-divorce standard of living.

4.       Maintenance: Although there is no mathematical formula the same holds true as does for child support, it is probably both too much and not enough,  and it is still going to have to come out of the same pot of money.  Unless the parties are very well off financially to begin with, to expect the same standard of living pre-divorce is usually unrealistic. Although appropriate in some cases of long marriage, large disparities in income, or other factors, maintenance in Missouri is awarded in a small percentage of cases.

5.       Health Insurance: Regardless of your politics on the issue, health insurance is expensive and upon divorce usually a former spouse cannot remain on the other spouse’s health insurance. So, unless both parties can get affordable health insurance, if such a thing exists, then this can be a big financial factor that likely may only have a handful of undesirable solutions.

6.       Attorney fees and case costs: On top of all of this, the divorce is a direct expense in terms of attorney fees and costs associated with the case. If the case is contested, then the total cost on the family is the sum of both spouses total investment in the case. Attorney fees are not usually awarded, which is all the more reason to try to approach the case in an informed and rational way, and try to keep costs and conflict down. The higher the conflict, the higher the cost every single time.

There are of course, other issues particular to certain cases, but regardless of how extensive the list may be, the bottom line is that divorcing spouses need to be smart and rational about how to separate financially and view their situation in a realistic way. Otherwise,  financial disaster in one form or another, certainly awaits.

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In a recent ruling by the Missouri Court of Appeals, in a custody modification proceeding, the trial court’s modified parenting plan delegated the authority to make all medical, educational, and extracurricular decisions for one of the parents’ two children to her “team of doctors.” The Court held that these provisions of the plan are too vague and indefinite to be enforceable in that the phrase “team of doctors” is not sufficiently definite and specific. Provisions in a judgment should be definite as indefinite provisions are unenforceable. The judgment must be sufficiently certain to be susceptible of enforcement in the manner provided by law without requiring external proof.

Although not specifically held, it was noted that  452.375.5(5)(a) allows a court to grant custody to a third party when it finds that each parent is unfit, unsuitable, or unable to be a custodian, or the welfare of the child requires, and it is in the best interests of the child. However, to do this, the court must make that third person a party to the action.  However, parents who share joint legal custody of a child or children can agree to designate a third party as a tie-breaker to resolve individual issues upon which they cannot agree, and such an arrangement does not violate section 452.375.1(2).  In this case, the “team of doctors” were not made a party to the case, and the modified parenting plan was against the weight of the evidence in that the parents did not intend to delegate to the team of doctors their authority to make educational or extracurricular decisions for their daughter.  

The entire opinion can be read here.

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In today's highly mobile society, is is not uncommon at all for one parent to desire to relocate to another city or state.  While Courts recognize that a parent cannot realistically be confined to one geographic location, the greater the distance between the parents, the more difficult it can be to effectively exercise a joint physical custody arrangement.  Courts routinely have to make difficult decisions that will heavily impact the child's relationship with a non-custodial parent. 

When determining whether to allow children to relocate, the decision is made on a case by case basis, and there is no hard and fast rule.  The Court is required to consider whether the move is made in good faith and  will serve the best interests of the children, and the the court looks to the enumerated factors in RSMO 452.375.2, as in any custody proceeding.  Whether or not the children would benefit economically, socially, or educationally are also considerations, but economic benefit does not have to be shown.

In a recent ruling from the Court of Appeals, a finding prohibiting the relocation was overturned, based on evidence of Mother’s history as primary caregiver, careful provision for children’s needs including time with Father, Father’s child support arrearages and criminal offenses, as well as other factors.  The Court found that, even though the Father and other immediate family would have substantially less time with the children and the children would be moved to another city and another school, the move was in the children's best interests.  To get an idea of how the Court approaches these cases, and what other factors are considered, click here to read the opinion.

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In a recent ruling by the Missouri Court of Appeals, the court upheld a trial court ruling where marital assets were divided unequally between the spouses, the division included money spent by a spouse after separation, and spousal maintenance was awarded even though the spouse receiving the maintenance also received the larger portion of the marital property.

On the issue of division and the characterization of the property, the court held that the question of whether property is marital property is, among other things, one of credibility. The trial court is given due regard to the determination of credibility of witnesses and the trial judge is free to believe all, part, or none of the testimony of any witness. The trial judge may disbelieve testimony adduced by a witness even if the testimony is not contradicted.  In this recent case, even though the Husband testified that he thought the property in question was a non-marital asset, all other evidence indicated that it was jointly owned by the parties as marital property.

 

On the issue of marital assets spent by one spouse after separation but before the dissolution of marriage, the court held that the “spending party” can be ordered to reimburse the other spouse through disproportionate property division. In this case, the issue was one or more retirement accounts that the Husband claimed that he “lived on” during the separation, although his salary was sufficient to cover all of his living expenses. The court held that the trial court does not have to specifically find that it believes monies have actually been secreted or squandered in anticipation of divorce, because its actions can imply such a conclusion where sufficient evidence exists to support that conclusion. The court also, even after the reimbursement of the “spent” money and attorney fees, upheld the award of maintenance.   The court said that, even though there was an award of substantial marital assets that the Husband claimed could support the wife, the wife was not required to deplete, or “live off” of those of marital assets before maintenance can be awarded or take effect.

 

 

The full text of the opinion can be read here. 

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On July 7, 2009, Governor Jay Nixon signed into law senate bill number 141, which modifies Missouri’s paternity laws, effective August 28, 2009. The new law revises sections 210.826, and 210.828 and adds a new section 210.854, which will now allow men who have been declared the father of a child by a court to petition to set aside the judgment and obtain relief from child support obligations when DNA testing shows that they are not the biological father, if filed within certain time limits.  

The provisions of the new paternity law are summarized as follows:

In an action to determine paternity of a child, a notification form shall be attached to the delivery of the petition through service of process. The notification form shall prominently state in bold face type as follows: "Important Notice. If you do not respond to this action, a judgment of paternity may be entered against you and you may be ordered to pay child support, medical support or reimburse someone for support previously paid for the child. You have the right to contest that you are the father of the named child and you have the right to request genetic testing to prove whether or not you are the father."

The act also provides that a person may file a petition to challenge entry of a judgment of paternity and support upon filing an affidavit stating that evidence exists which was not considered before entry of judgment. Such petition shall also include either an allegation that genetic testing was conducted within the past 90 days using DNA methodology, was performed by an expert, and that the test results indicate the petitioner is not the child's father or a request to the court for an order of genetic paternity testing using DNA methodology. The petition to set aside the judgment may be filed at any time prior to December 31, 2011. After that, the petition shall be filed within two years of the entry of the original judgment of paternity and/or support, whichever occurs later.

The court, after a hearing where all interested parties have been given an opportunity to present evidence and be heard and upon a finding of probable cause to believe the testing may result in a determination of non-paternity, shall order the relevant parties to submit to genetic paternity testing. The petitioner shall pay for the costs of testing.

The court shall grant relief, unless the court makes written findings of fact and conclusions of law that it is not in the best interest of the parties to do so, and enter judgment setting aside the previous judgment of paternity and child support, including a previous acknowledgment of paternity, extinguish any existing child support arrearage, and order the Department of Health and Senior Services to modify the child's birth certificate accordingly upon a finding that the genetic test was properly conducted, accurate, and excludes the petitioner as the child's father.

In addition, any petitioner may apply for expungement of criminal nonsupport records to the court in which the petitioner pled guilty or was sentenced. Such expungement shall only apply to records for criminal nonsupport of a child or children for which the petitioner was found not to be the biological father.

The provisions of this act shall not apply to grant relief to the parent of any adopted child nor shall such provisions be construed to create a cause of action to recover child support or state debt previously paid under court order. The petitioner shall not have a right for reimbursement of any monies paid previously under said order.

Beginning in 2010, the family support division shall track and report to the general assembly the number of cases known to the division in which a court, within the calendar year, set aside a previous judgment of paternity and support under the provisions of this act.

The entire text of the bill can be read here.

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Newly passed legislation will finally enact the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act as of August 28, 2009. Missouri was one of only three states that had not yet enacted the UCCJEA. This act will replace the current Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA).

The act limits child custody jurisdiction to one state, avoids competing orders, and provides enforcement provisions for child custody orders. The act further establishes orders of priority and guidance on issues regarding establishing initial custody determinations, continuing jurisdiction, modification of custody determination, and emergency orders.

Similar to the UCCJA, The UCCJEA establishes an order of priority for determining which state has proper jurisdiction to make an initial determination of child custody. The order of priority includes a determination of (1) the child's home state, (2) the state in which the child and at least one parent have a significant connection and substantial evidence concerning the custody determination is available or (3) the state having an appropriate connection with the child.

The child's home state is defined as the state where the child has lived with a parent for six consecutive months prior to the commencement of the proceeding, or since birth, for children younger than six months.

Once a state court has made a custody determination, the state keeps exclusive and continuing jurisdiction over all matters concerning the child until circumstances have changed regarding home state status, or there is no longer a significant connection to the state or evidence concerning the child's custody is no longer available in that state. The circumstances are specified in the act.

Also, once a custody determination has been made, a court of another state does not have authority to modify the determination unless the state with jurisdiction determines that it does not have jurisdiction or any state court determines that the child, parents, or any acting parents do not reside in the state which currently has jurisdiction.

A state which does not otherwise have jurisdiction may enter a temporary emergency order if the child is in danger and needs immediate protection. After issuing the order, the state court should determine if there is an existing custody order from another state in effect. If there is an existing order, the emergency court must allow a reasonable time period for the parties to return to the state having jurisdiction and argue the issues to the court with jurisdiction.

If there is no previous child custody order in existence, the emergency court's order will remain in effect until a determination is made in a court having home state jurisdiction over the child. If no determination is made and the emergency court's state becomes the home state of the child, the emergency order becomes a final determination of custody.

Missouri has now also done away with the requirement that social security numbers be included in family law pleadings and judgments.   Under the new law, parties will still file social security numbers with an information sheet, but that will be maintained by the court confidentially, and only the last 4 numbers will be included in the judgments or pleadings in the public record.

 

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An issue that I have seen a few times, and that was recently before the Court of Appeals for the Southern District, involves the incorporation of maintenance (alimony) provisions into a Marital Settlement Agreement, where the agreement provides that the terms are not subject to modification.   

Extreme care should be used when drafting such a document, as many times these agreements have  "boilerplate" language either at the beginning or end of the document, which says that the agreement  is the entire agreement and it is not subject to modification or change. That is all well and good for a contract, and the parties would want that in there for most purposes. Legally that language is not effective for child custody, visitation, or support orders, but it would be necessary for the division or property provisions. 

The problem is with maintenance.  If the parties agree to a certain amount and schedule for maintenance, that would normally be modifiable unless stated otherwise.  However, if the "non-modifiable" language is buried elsewhere in the document, usually at the end, that would be effective to make the maintenance non-modifiable, which would put the paying spouse on the hook indefinitely.  Obviously this could be a very expensive, unintended mistake.

So, the parties should make very clear, in the same paragraph, the type and duration of the maintenance, as well as whether or not it is modifiable.  Also, they should make sure that the provisions for non-modification of the settlement agreement, which could be anywhere in the document, do not apply to maintenance, unless that is the intent of the parties.  Also, each party should just thoroughly read and understand the agreement before signing it, even the "legalease".

For a recent case dealing with this issue, click here

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The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement act (UCCJEA) may finally win approval in this year’s legislative session. The measure is part of the Omnibus Judicial Bill (HB 187) that was perfected by a voice vote in the House this week. The House must approve the bill by a recorded vote before it can be sent on to the Senate. Missouri is among only three states (Vermont and New Hampshire) that have yet to adopt the UCCJEA.

The UCCJEA repeals the current Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA). The act specifies the procedures, priorities, and factors to be considered in initial custody jurisdiction determinations, continuing jurisdiction determinations, modification of custody determinations, and emergency orders. Also, family access orders may be filed relating to establishment or modification of custody or visitation including, but not limited to, dissolution, modification, third-party visitation, or paternity.

 

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In a divorce proceeding, a personal injury settlement can be a major asset that will have to be divided between the parties. Missouri uses the "analytical" approach to determine whether the settlement proceeds are marital, non-marital, or both.

In a marriage dissolution proceeding, the trial court uses a two-step process for dividing property. The trial court must first set aside non-marital property before it divides marital property “in such proportions as [it] deems just.” Property acquired during the marriage is presumed to be marital, but the presumption may be overcome. A settlement for a personal injury claim occurring during the marriage may be both marital and non-marital.

To determine whether funds from a personal injury settlement are marital or non-marital, Missouri uses the “analytical” approach. Under this approach, also known as “replacement analysis,” the settlement award is classified by what it is meant to replace. To determine the intent of a settlement, a court may look to what the parties would have received if the claims had been adjudicated.  If the award is to compensate for separate, non-marital losses, it is non-marital property; to the extent it compensates for marital losses, it is marital property.

Under the analytical approach, compensation for loss of future, post-dissolution wages is non-marital property, while compensation for wages lost during the marriage is marital. Similarly, compensation for post-dissolution medical expenses is generally considered non-marital, while compensation for medical expenses during the marriage is generally marital.. Compensation for non-economic damages, such as “pain, suffering, disfigurement, disability, and loss of ability to lead a normal life” is generally considered the separate property of the injured spouse.

The Court of Appeals recently held that the trial court did not err in determining that post-dissolution payments due under the settlement agreement were properly characterized as non-marital property. To see the opinion, click here.

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The following post appeared earlier this month on the South Carolina Family Law Blog.  I thought these were some great thoughts for divorcing parents to keep in mind:

While divorce proceedings may pose a great burden upon parents, they often have a disproportionate affect upon children, who may not fully understand the process. Parental separation can fundamentally shift a child's nascent world view, requiring careful steps to ensure that children are able to soundly cope with the divorce. Although the divorce itself might emerge from personal issues unrelated to children, it is crucial that parents remain focused upon helping children transition during the process:

1. Encourage open communication from your children. Although the complete scope of the process might immediately escape children, it's important that you take time to allow a child to express his or her feelings about the event. This is a way in which you can both come to understand outside viewpoints, as well as providing you with an opportunity to reach and explain the situation in a manner that resonates with the child. If you have multiple children, it's important to speak to them both individually and collectively, as each child is likely to have a different, personal response to the events unfolding, depending on their age and personality.
2. Ensure that all children have a stable social safety net throughout the process. Since the fundamental role of the family is to provide a safe setting in which children can learn and grow, it's important that one continue to provide this level of support even during parental separation. Ensure that children are in a safe environment and remain outside any legal or argumentative environments that might surround the divorce; if you understand with your spouse around children, remain friendly and amicable, independent of your internal feelings. Always reach out to your broader, extended social network so that children feel comfortable – allow them to spend time with friends, relatives and counselors so that they have feelings of stability in spite of the changes around them.
3. Maintain continuity in your own personal life so that you can remain a strong parent.  In order to help children cope with a divorce, it's important that one ensure stability in all facets of life, from work to friendships. By maintaining an equilibrium in your life, you can ensure that you'll bring a balanced approach to keeping your life in order so that you can remain strong for your children. It may be beneficial to spend time with a counselor so that you can work through any anxiety or feelings that you have, in order to ensure a proper outlet for those emotions; while it's okay to express yourself around children, one should also ensure that emotions are kept in check and expressed in a structured fashion so children feel comfortable. In order to help children remain strong during a divorce, each parent has to be strong independently.
4. Keep legal challenges outside of the child's daily life.  Although court proceedings are a core part of any divorce, children should not have to grasp the details of the legal fight. Instead, keep the legal details separate from your relationship with your children. When working out a legal settlement, always keep the best interests of your children in mind, as those considerations should trump any financial or situational disputes that might arise in the proceedings. Even during the direct divorce proceedings, ensure that you have enough time to devote to nurturing and taking care of your children.
5. Allow children an expressive outlet to ensure their lives are well-balanced.  While no divorce is fun for children, it's important to ensure that children continue to have elements of joy in their life, from celebrating parties with friends to enjoying time off from school on the weekends. Take time away from the bustle of daily life to take your children to a park or to a nice dinner out with relatives so that they can continue to find enjoyment in life, in spite of the larger situation.

 

Thanks to the South Carolina Family Law Blog for this post.

 

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What happens when a parent tries to avoid a child support obligation because they are not working or only have a small amount of income? Well, in the eyes of the Court, that parent will be treated as if they did have income sufficient to pay the child support. The most common situation is when it is apparent that a parent is not working specifically to avoid child support, but there are many factors that the Court can consider when making this decision. This can happen in a divorce, paternity, or child support case, and it is called “imputed” income. The court can consider any relevant factor, and recent cases say the following:

For the non-custodial parent

• Any imputed income must be within a parent’s capacity to earn, and if a parent earned a different income prior to trial the court should consider that income in calculating retroactive child support.  
• Even if a parent did not try to evade child support, the court can impute higher income than earned if the parent has the earning capacity.  
• Imputed income must be supported by evidence, not speculation, and the court record must reflect how the income was figured.  
• The income imputed to an underemployed or unemployed parent must be according to what they could earn if using their best efforts to find employment
• The court can impute income if a parent has voluntarily and deliberately become unemployed, and a court should not do so if there is no showing of an attempt to evade responsibility
• If a parent is terminated and does not use best efforts to find new employment, refuses offers, or fails to show unemployment is only temporary, income may be imputed

For the custodial parent

• Factors include age, maturity of the child, availability of child care givers, relationship between the expense of child care and the net income the parent would receive, the reasons the parent stays home with the child.
• A court may not treat imputation of income on the Form 14 different than its maintenance calculation

Next installment: Adjustments to income for child support, maintenance, health insurance, and medical costs

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With so many people facing bankruptcy in the current climate, it may be good news to know (depending on which side you are on, of course) that the bankruptcy does not allow a person owing a domestic support obligation to use bankruptcy as a way to avoid payment of the debt. In fact, virtually any obligation that is domestic in nature cannot be discharged in bankruptcy. Here are a few facts:

• A domestic support obligation is not dischargeable in a Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 consumer bankruptcy proceeding. 
• “Domestic Support Obligation” is a debt that is owed to or recoverable by a spouse, ex-spouse, or child of the debtor or their guardian or representative, or a governmental unit (such as the Children’s division or the Court). This includes alimony, maintenance, child support, state assistance, even if the debt is not titled exactly in that manner. Also included is a debt arising out of a separation agreement, divorce decree, or property settlement agreement.
• Also non-dischargeable in a Chapter 7 is any debt to a spouse, former spouse, or child not described above that is incurred by the debtor in the course of a divorce or separation or in connection with a separation agreement, divorce decree, or other order of a court of record. Any debt that falling under this section may be dischargeable in a Chapter 13 debt adjustment, however.
• Domestic Support Obligations receive the number 1 priority for repayment in a Chapter 13 plan or when funds are available in a Chapter 7 bankruptcy estate.
• To summarize, if it is domestic in nature, it is going to have to be paid. This includes not only child support or maintenance, but also property and debt divisions, such as: marital estate equalization payments, payments in settlement, qualified domestic relations orders, contempt payments, divisions of debts, vehicle debts, mortgages, credit cards, lines of credit, personal loans, medical insurance, costs for non-covered medical care, retirement plan divisions, military retirement divisions, attorney fee awards, and the kitchen sink.
• No special language is necessary in the divorce settlement or decree to make these provisions apply, although it may be a good idea just to drive the point home.

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For the purposes of calculating child support in Missouri, the Form 14 calculation is used.  The starting point is the Gross Income of the parties.  So, what does that include and what exactly does it mean?  The following is a summary of the official comments and relatively recent court rulings on the definition.

“Gross income" includes, but is not limited to, salaries, wages, commissions, dividends, severance pay, pensions, interest, trust income, annuities, partnership distributions, social security benefits, retirement benefits, workers' compensation benefits, unemployment compensation benefits, disability insurance benefits, veterans' disability benefits, and military allowances for subsistence and quarters.

Overtime compensation, bonuses, earnings from secondary employment, recurring capital gains, prizes, retained earnings and significant employment-related benefits maybe included, in whole or in part, in "gross income" in appropriate circumstances.

 

Excluded from "gross income" is temporary assistance for needy families (TANF) payments, Medicaid benefits, supplemental security income (SSI) benefits, food stamps, general assistance benefits, other public assistance benefits having eligibility based on income, and child support received for children not the subject of this proceeding.

If a parent receives rents or royalties or is self-employed, in a sole proprietorship, or business with joint ownership, "gross income" is gross receipts minus the ordinary and necessary expenses incurred to produce such receipts.  

 

"Income" for purposes of computing the presumed child support amount consists of a financial benefit or money received by a parent that could have a positive impact on the parent's ability to support the parent's children.

 

Overtime Compensation

 

When determining whether to include overtime compensation, the Court must consider (1) Periods of temporary child custody, (2) The motivation of the parent working the overtime over the last three years. (3) The amount of the overtime. (4) The expectation that the overtime will continue, (5) additional dependents.

 

Overtime may be included in a parent’s yearly gross income in appropriate circumstances.  The Court must consider all relevant factors, including the realistic expectation that a parent who receives a bonus or overtime will continue to do so.  The court can ignore income history and look at a single year's income figure if it finds that figure to be the most accurate predictor of a parent’s income

 

Bonus and Significant Employment Related Benefits:

 

The same 5 factors listed above apply to bonus income. Additionally:

 

Bonuses are discretionary, and the court may accept or reject the reliability and pattern of bonus income. 

 

Expense reimbursements should not be included in monthly gross income on Form 14 because such reimbursements are a repayment or indemnification, which is compensation for loss or damage, as opposed to a benefit, which is profit or gain.

 

Next Installment:  Imputed income

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In this time of economic downturn, I am seeing quite a few people filing for divorce who have substantial debt problems, and many are considering, or needing, to file for bankruptcy. This is especially true considering that a large number of those considering divorce are doing so because of financial struggles. In this event, careful planning is required and each individual situation must be examined thoroughly. Below are some points to consider, not intended to advocate bankruptcy by any means, but just for general information on a situation that is very common.

If you can avoid bankruptcy, that is the best option. However, if required, it may be better to file bankruptcy before the divorce, considering:

• Missouri and Federal bankruptcy law will allow married couples to file jointly, eliminating the need for two separate bankruptcy filings and two separate attorney fees after the divorce.
• The parties can exempt (protect) double the amount of property if they file jointly
• Most married couples have joint debt.  Even though the divorce court can divide the debt, it cannot alter the contract with the creditor, meaning that if the spouse ordered to pay doesn’t, creditors are going to come after whoever’s name is on the account.  Then the only remedy is a contempt of court proceeding, which is time consuming (up to a year) and costly. All the while, the other spouse has to make the payment or suffer the credit consequences. Joint bankruptcy can eliminate the debt all together and avoid the problem of who pays who.
• Joint filing before the divorce will eliminate the need to litigate issue of debt in the divorce, which reduces the time and expense of the divorce, and avoids the result described above. Remember, a divorce decree is just a piece of paper, enforcing it is a whole different matter.
• Although the bankruptcy law will not allow a divorcee to discharge debts ordered in the divorce, the problem of collection and contempt may cause greater credit problems than the bankruptcy itself.
• Joint filing before divorce will allow for a higher income threshold for Chapter 7 qualification (means test avoidance)
• Joint filers can utilize Missouri’s double wild card exemption and the head of household exemptions with child exemptions (which can be significant).
• It most likely (almost guaranteed) that you can rebuild and re-establish your credit much faster than you could ever have paid off the debt, while at the same time getting the past problems behind you and truly getting a “fresh start”.
• Bankruptcy is not the end of the world. It can be an effective solution to a real problem that real people have during these times.

Please note that this list is not complete, and other issues may affect the analysis or timing of the filing. Seek legal advice for your particular situation.

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On August 20, 2008 the Advisory Commitee of the Supreme Court of Missouri issued a formal opinion that the practice of Collaborative law, a form of practice where clients agree from the outset to settle their case out of court through negotiation rather than litigation, is ethical and permissible in Missouri. 

In the area of family law, both parties and their attorneys formally agree that no documents will be filed with the court until the case is resolved.  Rather than taking a course of litigation, where papers are filed and served, discovery is exchanged, and the case is prepared for trial, the parties negotiate in a series of 4 way open discussions.  In these discussions, the parties agree not to go to court, or even threaten to, and all information is exchanged freely and openly to assist the attorneys in resolving the case in a cooperative manner.  In the rare event that the case is not settled, both parties must retain new trial counsel and the collaborative attorneys must withdraw.

The primary concern of the Advisory Committee was that the client understand the pros and cons of the collaborative process and sign a written consent and contract providing that the attorney has no choice but to withdraw should the case not settle.

Collaborative family law has been around for many years, and is quickly gaining momentum and popularity in Missouri as a superior way to resolve domestic relations cases

 

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To show transmutation of separate property to marital property requires evidence of owner’s clear intent to contribute the property.  Commingling is not enough.  Wife’s contributions to Husband’s separate property did not transmute into marital property, but did support an equalization payment to Wife in proportion to her contribution.   Court of Appeals awards Wife slightly less than Circuit Court. 

Sheilafaye Goodwin, Respondent, v. Charles Lewis Goodwin, Appellant

Missouri Law pertaining to Marital and Separate Property

Section 452.330 governs a trial court’s distribution and classification of marital and non-marital assets. That section requires that the trial court set aside to each party their non-marital property and divide the marital property equitably.  Generally, property owned by one spouse prior to the marriage will remain non-marital property and will be awarded to the owner of that property.   Moreover, "property which would otherwise be nonmarital property shall not become marital property solely because it may have become commingled with marital property." Property acquired before the marriage and which remains titled in the name of the original owner is separate property unless the record shows that the owner intended to change the status of the property from separate to marital.’ By contrast, if the owner intended to change the status of the property from separate to marital, it becomes marital." To transform the nature of the property from separate to marital, "[a] ‘clear intention’ to contribute to the community or to the other spouse must be demonstrated."      "[C]ourts must set aside a spouse’s separate property in dissolution cases, and property is deemed separate or marital based on the source of funds that financed the purchase

 

 

 

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As most people know, the California Supreme Court recently ruled that the state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.  So what does that mean for Missourians? 

• In California, there were two statutes that said that a marriage is between a man and a woman, which was interpreted to prohibit same sex marriage.  The Supreme Court ruled those statutes to be unconstitutional under the California Constitution (not the federal).   It is now legal for same sex couples to marry in California.

 

• Missouri is different.  In Missouri, rather than a statutory ban on same-sex marriage, we have a constitutional amendment (2004) that defines marriage as being only between a man and a woman, and marriages between same-sex couples are not recognized.  There is also a federal statute in play called the Federal Defense of Marriage Act which permits Missouri (and other states) to deny full faith and credit to the marriage laws of another state.  This means that Missouri does not have to recognize a same-sex marriage that is perfectly legal in California since it is inconsistent with Missouri law.  The federal law's constitutionality has not been fully challenged yet.

 

• Taken together, it is presumed that if a same sex married couple moved to Missouri, or Missourians went to California to get married and returned to Missouri, their marriage would not be recognized.

 

• This also means that same-sex married couples could not obtain a divorce in Missouri because there would be no jurisdiction for the courts.  Thus, dissolution of marriage laws that control child custody, visitation, support, maintenance, and property division would presumably not apply.

 

• In the event of a separation the couple would probably have to file an action under the Uniform Parentage Act (commonly known as a paternity action currently) to determine custody, visitation, and child support issues if adopted children are involved.

 

• Same sex couples may want to utilize prenuptial agreements, antenuptial agreements, contracts, and other documentation to control the disposition of assets, including real estate, personal property, bank accounts, securities, business interests, etc.

Source for Post:  mobar.org Esq. soundbite. 

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Effective yesterday, July 1, 2008, Supreme Court Rule 88.09 comes into effect which requires parties not represented by counsel to participate in a litigant awareness program that explains the risks and benefits of self representation, as well as requiring certain court forms to be used and accepted by the Court.   The amended rule reads as follows:

88.09 PARTIES NOT REPRESENTED BY COUNSEL

Every party not represented by counsel who participates in a proceeding for dissolution of marriage, legal separation, parentage or the modification of a judgment in any such proceeding shall:

(a) Complete a litigant awareness program that includes an explanation of the risks and responsibilities of self-representation, unless waived by the circuit court. The awareness program shall be prepared by a committee designated by this Court, but each circuit may determine the manner and means by which the training shall be provided and the proof of compliance; and

(b) Unless such use is waived by the trial court, use the pleadings, forms, and proposed judgment prepared by a committee designated by this Court that have been approved by this Court. These forms shall be accepted by the courts of this state, until disapproved or superseded by this Court.

(c) Nothing in this Rule 88.09 prevents a court from determining the legal sufficiency of any pleading nor prevents a court from entering judgment in a form different from the judgment form approved pursuant to Rule 88.09(b).

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The Pennsylvania Family Law Blog had a great post yesterday about why you need a lawyer for your divorce case.  The full article can be read here, and is summarized as follows:

A good divorce lawyer is part lawyer, part psychologist and part clergy. A good divorce lawyer also is indispensable if you are contemplating a divorce (or, for lawyers, if your client is doing so).

An experienced divorce lawyer will already be aware of the issues likely to arise in your case. This divorce lawyer knows the court rules and the court personnel. She knows the other practitioners in her area of expertise.  She knows the best appraisers (real estate, jewelry, pensions, etc.), the best therapists, and the best tax lawyers for this case.

Your divorce lawyer also brings certain unique skills to the case. He negotiates in a way that is designed to lessen antagonism with your child’s other parent, while still vigorously protecting your rights. He gives you advice that is geared to your family situation, not just your financial needs. 

These are all great points.  I would add the following:

Judges hold pro se litigants to the same strict standards and rules as attorneys, and honestly, most judges to not like people coming into court without an attorney.  

If the other side has an attorney that is worth their salt, the pro se litigant will have probably lost the case months before they even get to court.  Issues with jurisdiction, service, discovery, depositions, admissions, temporary orders, default, local rule compliance, etc. can blow the whole case.

Divorce is stressful enough without an experienced attorney who specializes in family law.  The attorney can take much of the burden off of the litigant, reduce the length of the case, and hopefully negotiate a settlement where everyone wins and nobody goes to court.  Its better that way, trust me.

You wouldn't perform your own surgery, why would you try to take on the court by yourself.  Divorce lawyers are here for a reason. 

The court is not going to accept those forms you downloaded from the Internet.  

Whatever your argument, the judge has heard it before.  The attorney knows how to pick the battles and keep you on the judges good side.

Family law is not like other areas of the law.  A skilled negotiator is superior to a combative lawyer or litigant who wants to fight about everything.

 

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Recent Case Summary

Statute requires interest on maintenance not paid. Neither "good faith . . . reliance upon what [Obligor] understood to be a valid court order" that no interest was due, nor Obligee's inconsistent theories on amount due, are a defense. Circuit Court did not abuse its discretion in denying attorney fees award "based on a variety of factors expressly authorized by" statute.

Case Holding

Appellant was entitled to statutory interest pursuant to section 454.520.3, RSMo, for the entire time period that Respondent failed to pay his full obligation under the divorce decree. The obligation to pay interest under section 454.520.3 is mandatory and is intended to compensate the recipient spouse, rather than punish the payor. Although Respondent may have relied in good faith on the circuit court's 2002 modification order, this court held that the 2002 order was null and void; Respondent's obligation to make $4,000 per month maintenance payments under the original divorce decree thus subsisted throughout the relevant period. On this issue the judgment is reversed, and remanded to the circuit court for calculation of the interest owing to Appellant.

The circuit court denied Appellant's request for attorneys fees and costs based on multiple factors, including Appellant's resources, the justiciability of the issue concerning the validity of the 2002 modification, Appellant's delay in seeking an attorneys fee award, and her conduct during the litigation. Pursuant to section 452.355.1, RSMo, the circuit court has broad discretion in deciding whether an award of attorneys fees is warranted. This court finds no abuse of discretion in the circumstances, and the circuit court's denial of attorneys fees and costs is affirmed.

Read the Full opinion here

Source for Post:  Missouri Bar

 

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After divorce, it is common for the parties to agree to sell their marital home, or it may be ordered by the Court.  It is also common for one party to keep the home, and "buy out" the other spouse for their share of the equity.  In the current market however, sometimes this is not possible, and the value of the home is such that a sale will not bring enough proceeds to cover the outstandig mortgages.  In this situation, divorcing spouses may have no choice but to consider a short sale.  The following article, recently posted on the New Jersey Law Blog, explains a short sale, and the possible benefits and risks.

A short sale is when the proceeds from the sale of a home are not sufficient to fully pay off all outstanding debts which are secured by the property (mortgages) after first deducting the homeowner’s costs of selling the property.  In such instances, the selling homeowner can either bring funds to closing to make up the difference, or obtain approval from his mortgage holders to accept a reduced amount to satisfy his outstanding loans. 

Unless a homeowner is able to pay off all of the mortgages which are secured by his property, the homeowner will not be able to convey good title to a buyer.  If the homeowner is unable to obtain a sales price which enables him to pay off all loans and closing costs, and he does not have the funds to make up the difference, then he may want to try to obtain approval from his current lender(s) to accept an amount less than the full amount due on its mortgage.  For a lender, this may be acceptable to obtain repayment of a substantial amount of its loan and to avoid the costs and delay of foreclosing on the loan.  This will generally mean that the Seller will not receive any funds from the sale of his home.

In order to obtain such approval from a lender - which may or may not be granted - the homeowner needs to contact his lender(s) to determine what information they will need to make their decision.  This usually includes a financial statement of the homeowner, copy of a contract of sale, appraisal, and other pertinent documents.  Generally, a lender will not consider approving a short sale without a clear economic hardship on the part of the homeowner and an existing default or pending foreclosure.

Until recently, forgiveness of a debt under these circumstances, could trigger a taxable event according to the IRS.  This means that if a lender forgave a part of the mortgage debt by accepting a reduced amount in full satisfaction of the loan, then the amount forgiven could be deemed taxable income to the homeowner.  This was so even though the homeowner received nothing from the sale.  However, in December 2007 Congress passed the Mortgage Forgiveness Debt Relief Act of 2007.  This Act amends the Internal Revenue Code to exclude from gross income amounts attributed to a discharge of indebtedness incurred to acquire a homeowner’s principle residence.  The amount of the debt forgiveness can be up to $2.0 million.  Thus, a homeowner is now able to sell his home for less than what is owed on it without incurring an additional tax liability.   This exemption for forgiven debt, however, is only temporary and expires within three years.

Source for Post: New Jersey Law Blog

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Princeton encourages it. Harvard’s a big fan. From Tufts to MIT, some of the most prestigious universities in the nation are urging students to consider something that would make most parents cringe: The idea of putting off college for a year in favor of some much-needed down-time. 

It’s called a “gap year.” And while it’s been a common and popular rite of passage in Australia and the U.K. for decades, the concept is now starting to gain significant steam here in America.

Why? A growing number of high school seniors are balking at riding the academic conveyer belt from preschool, all the way to university. They’re burnt out. Or not quite ready. Or they want to explore a few interests before deciding what to study in college. So instead of packing their bags in anticipation of freshman year, they’re volunteering in New Orleans or teaching in Thailand. They’re starting the great American novel, or interning to help figure out what they want to do with their lives.

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Every divorcing parent should make it their top priority to keep their children from getting caught in the middle of the conflict of their divorce.  The following is the third installment of tips and thoughts are from James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker  in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas.  Mr. Roberts practices with Madison Avenue Psychological Services in Kansas City Missouri.  

9.     Child Abuse Allegations

It is becoming common for conflicting parents to express their hostilities by making unfounded allegations of child abuse.  For children the consequences of these allegations are negative and far-reaching.  Children are drawn into evaluations, investigations, and court testimony which greatly increase the risk of prolonged confusion, hurt, and anger.

10.     Custody Fights

Some parents pursue custody fights when they know perfectly well that the real reason for the custody action is to be vindictive.  Children experience custody battles between their parents as extremely stressful.

11.     Child Support

Parents too often use child support by withholding it, demanding more, or making payments late when the real motivation is to perpetuate a dispute with the former spouse.  In many homes children suffer directly when child support payments are not made regularly or when conflict is expressed indirectly in this way.

12.     Using Noble Ideas to Hide Double Standards

A custodial parent might say "i want her to make her own decisions" when a child refused to visit the non-custodial parent but strictly enforce curfews when the same child wants to stay out late.  A custodial parent might say "He has the right to his own feelings" if a child says critical things about his non-custodial parent but lecture and browbeat the same child for "talking back" at home.  Children are sensitive to inconsistencies.  They react to them with mistrust and cynicism.

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Every divorcing parent should make it their top priority to keep their children from getting caught in the middle of the conflict of their divorce.  The following is the second installment of tips and thoughts are from James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker  in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas.  Mr. Roberts practices with Madison Avenue Psychological Services in Kansas City Missouri.  See the March10 post below for tips 1-4.

5.     Sabotaging the Child's Routine

When parents fail to give a child medication, fail to follow through on discipline imposed by the other parent, or bend rules on bed-time, diet, or curfews out of anger for the other parent, they are involving the child in parental conflicts.  conflicted parents frequently take their children to medical professionals without consulting the other parents as a way of acting out unresolved divorce disputes.  This practice places parental conflict above the child's medical well-being.

6.     Compensating for the Other Parent's Failures

One divorced parent may view the other parent as a poor parent for being "too lenient", "too strict", "too involved", or "not involved enough".  Such parents often try to compensate for the other parent's "failures' by being the opposite kind of parent.  Children in such situations suffer by not having parents who are using a balanced approach to rearing children.

7.     Making a Popularity Contest of Parenthood

A parent may try to win the affection of a child out of fear that the child favors the other parent.  such parents go overboard to "be nice" or refrain from being firm with their children. Children suffer in these situations by not having the advantage of a parent who is acting in the proper role of authority figure.

8.     Being an Accomplice to Whining

A parent may allow a child to complain about the other parents without helping the child see a more balanced view of the other parent.  If the parents either passively accepts the complaint or fails to urge the children to take up these grievances with the other parent they subtly encourage children to use indirect communication as a way of managing conflict.

The remaining 4 tips will appear in a future post

Source for Post:  James Roberts, RSW and the Kansas City Metropolitan Bar Association

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Every divorcing parent should make it their top priority to keep their children from getting caught in the middle of the conflict of their divorce.  The following tips and thoughts are from James Roberts, RSW, a licensed social worker  in Missouri and Kansas and family therapist in Kansas.  Mr. Roberts practices with Madison Avenue Psychological Services in Kansas City Missouri.

Parents who are either in the middle of a divorce, thinking about divorce, or already divorced should pay careful attention to the following ways that parents put their children directly in the middle of the conflict, and do their best to avoid them!

1.     Bad Mouthing

One of the most hurtful things a divorce parent can do to a child is to criticize the child's other parent in the child's presence.  Statements such as "Your father caused our divorce", or "if it weren't for your mother, we'd still be a family," are common examples of "bad-mouthing"

2.     Forcing a Child To Choose

It is harmful to pressure a child to "take sides" in a dispute between the divorced parents.  Children have a right to their own thoughts and feelings about the divorce and deserve to know they will be loved by both parents regardless of the opinions and feelings they have.  If parents are in conflict over custody and children are facing a decision about which home to live in outside professionals should be called upon for help.

3.     Spying

A parent who asks a child questions about the other parent's personal life is asking that child to become involved in the parents' conflicts.  Children in this situation may end up feeling they have betrayed a parent they love.

4.     Making the Child the Messenger

Parents make their children do a parent's job when they ask their children to carry messages to the other parent.  Children learn indirect ways to communicate when asked to be messengers and may feel guilt over having to assume adult responsibilities for their parents' communication

The remainder of James Robert's list will be posted to this blog in two future articles.

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Case Summary:
Past standard of living is not the standard for setting maintenance, but Wife showed that she can not meet her reasonable needs by working presently or in the future because of poor health and limited education. Circuit Court awarded proper amount, but used wrong term, in awarding maintenance, so Court of Appeals amends judgment to use right term. Substantial evidence supports imputation of income to Husband and award of attorney fees against him.
In re the Marriage of Debbie Lynn Taylor and Willie James Taylor, Debbie Lynn Taylor, Petitioner-Respondent, v. Willie James Taylor, Respondent-Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

Missouri Law pertaining to Awards of Maintenance (Alimony)
The trial court can award maintenance only if it finds that the party seeking maintenance "(1) Lacks sufficient property, including marital property apportioned to him, to provide for his reasonable needs; and (2) Is unable to support himself through appropriate employment[.]" Section 452.335.1.This section requires the trial court to follow a two-part threshold test. The court must initially determine if the requesting party has sufficient property to meet his or her reasonable needs, and if they do not, then the court must examine whether or not the party's reasonable needs can be met through appropriate employment.  Childers v. Childers,26 S.W.3d 851, 854 (Mo.App.W.D. 2000). The spouse seeking maintenance has the burden of establishing the threshold requirements. Comninellis v. Comninellis, 147 S.W.3d 102, 106 (Mo.App.W.D. 2004). After the court finds the threshold test has been satisfied, then the court may consider the statutory factors under Section 452.335.2 with respect to amounts and duration. Monsees v. Monsees, 908 S.W.2d 812, 817 (Mo.App.W.D. 1995).

In this case, Wife established that (1) she lacked sufficient property, including marital property apportioned to her during the dissolution, to meet her reasonable needs; and (2) that she is unable to support herself through appropriate employment.

Under Section 452.335.2, the court, in determining the amount and duration of a maintenance award, may consider all relevant factors including:

The financial resources of the party seeking maintenance, including marital property apportioned to him, and his ability to meet his needs independently[;]
The time necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the party seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment;
The comparative earning capacity of each spouse;
The standard of living established during the marriage;
The obligations and assets, including the marital property apportioned to him and the separate property of each party;
The duration of the marriage;
The age, and the physical and emotional condition of the spouse seeking maintenance;
The ability of the spouse from whom maintenance is sought to meet his needs while meeting those of the spouse seeking maintenance;
The conduct of the parties during the marriage; and
(10) Any other relevant factors.

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Here's How:

Source for Post: Cathy Meyer's Divorce Support Blog at about.com

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The Issue of attorney's fees often comes up in domestic litigation.  Missouri has adopted the American Rule regarding attorney's fees in that, absent statutory authorization or contractual agreemtn, each litigant, absent few exceptions, must bear the expense of their own attorney's feesl  However, Missouri's dissolution of marriage law allows the court to order one party to pay the other's attorney's fees, but the court must consider all relevant factors including the financial resources of both parties, the merits of the case, and the actions of the parties during the action.  The inability of one spouse to pay his or her own or the other party's attorney's fees is not determinitive.  Some examples supporting an award of fees would include unfounded allegations of child abuse, concealing assets, abuse of discovery, and failure to appear for trial. 

Recent Case
The Party seeking an award of attorney fees has the burden of proof to show that an award of attorneys fees is appropriate.  In the recent case cited below,  the record contains some evidence of father's financial resources—retirement and disability—but none on Mother's financial resources or on "any unusual circumstances warranting departure from Missouri's adoption of the American rule requiring each litigant to bear their own expenses." Circuit Court abused its discretion in awarding fees. Reversed.
Tina Marie Hihn, Respondent, v. Joseph Alexander Hihn, Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

 

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The holiday season conjures up many images for all of us. The most universal of these images is one that includes happy excited children. However, for children from divorced or separated families, the holidays can be a nightmare. What other children may experience as a joyful time filled with excitement and good feelings, children whose parents are divorced or separated see quite differently. Often the holiday time marks a period of turmoil and chaos, as the estranged parents are forced to negotiate additional child centered issues. Depending on the degree of hostility between the parents, children of divorce approach the holidays with feelings ranging from mild ambivalence to absolute dread. This article will explore what children of divorce experience at holiday time with a focus on holiday visitation, parents' legal rights and ways that parents can help ease the pain and reduce conflict so the holidays can be enjoyed by all.

First, regardless of financial or marital status, we all experience stress around the holidays. We spend too much, eat too much, party too much and always seem to have too little money, too little sleep, and too little time. It is important to recognize that most people feel inadequate around the holidays.

Second, regardless of how good the relationship is between the divorced or separated parents, children and their parents always experience some sadness around the holidays. After all, the holidays are a time for reminiscing and reassessing our lives. The divorced or separated family is always aware of the pain it has suffered and the holidays magnify this pain. Reminiscing is part of the holiday tradition, as we remember holidays gone by with stories or browsing through the family album. For the divorced or separated family this experience is bittersweet, as they reassess how it "used to be."

Third, we have unrealistic expectations. This result is the "post holiday blues" many of us experience in January. We expect more from ourselves and others than is possible, so we feel let down and disappointed.

Fourth, the ability of the children to adjust not just to the holiday visitation schedule, but to the divorce or separation, in general is directly effected by how well the parents have learned to adjust to their new roles as ex-spouses and co-parents. The above four issues give insight into what parents need to do, regarding their children.
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Discussed below is a recent ruling from the Western District of Missouri, where the Court, among other things, upheld the trial Court's ruling of imputation of income for child support and the award of attorney's fees. 

For calculation of child support, a trial court may impute income to a party according to what that party could earn by using best efforts to gain employment suitable to his or her capabilities.   Imputation is appropriate where the parent voluntarily reduces his or her income without justification. Further, Imputation is only proper where the trial court concludes from the evidence that the "parent has the capacity to earn more but voluntarily refuses to do so."  In imputing income, the directions to Form 14 indicate that the court may consider employment potential and probable earnings level based on the parent's recent work history, occupational qualifications, prevailing job opportunities in the community. 

As to the issue of attorneys fees, Missouri law permits the Court to award attorney's fees to a party, but it is not required to do so.  Generally the Court takes the position that each party must bear their own costs of litigation, and usually does not require one party to pay the attorney's fees of another party.  However, if the court does make such an award, the Court must consider all relevant factors including, the relative financial resources of the parties, the merits of the case, and the actions of the parties during the pendancy of the action.  In this recent case, the Court of Appeals stated in so many words that an award of attorney's fees would not be reversed if the award was arbitrary and unreasonable.

The summary of the case is as follows:

Circuit Court Need Not Award All Attorney Fees
Child's best interest does not necessarily require that Spouse who was caregiver during marriage has more parenting time after dissolution. Circuit Court properly imputed income to Spouse based on evidence of earning potential and desire not to achieve it. Actual income includes bonuses and benefits. In property division, Circuit Court need not credit Spouse with separate debts, including attorney fees, and need not award fees where much was spent litigating meritless issue. Payment of past maintenance did not waive contest of future payments, but Spouse did not show that the amount "was unwarranted, beyond [Spouse's] means to pay or so excessive as to constitute an abuse of . . . discretion. Rule allows award of half of transcript costs.
Sharlene Krepps, Appellant-Respondent, v. Richard Lee Krepps, Respondent-Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

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What happens if there is a court ordered parenting plan as a result of a divorce, paternity case, or other proceeding, and one of the parents wishes to relocate to another city or state?  Well, Missouri law places a burden on the parent to notify the other parent, in writing, meeting specific requirements, before the relocation.  Essentially, the parents must be able to agree on a new parenting plan, and if they cannot, they have an opportunity to have the Court decide whether the parent can relocate.  The following are the requirements of Missouri's statutory restriction on relocation:

Absent exigent circumstances as determined by a court with jurisdiction, a parent with physical custody of a child will notify, in writing by certified mail, return receipt requested, and at least sixty days before the proposed relocation, each party to this action of any proposed relocation of the principal residence of the child, including the following information:

• The intended new residence, including the specific address and mailing address, if known, and if not known, the city
• The home telephone number of the new residence, if known
• The date of the intended move or proposed relocation
• A brief statement of the specific reasons for the proposed relocation of the child
• A proposal for a revised schedule of custody or visitation with the child

The parent’s obligation to provide this information to each party continues as long as that parent is entitled to custody of a child under a court order. The parent’s failure to abide by this provision regarding the proposed relocation may result in further litigation to enforce the requirement, including contempt of court for violating a parenting plan that has been incorporated into the court’s judgment. In addition, the parent’s failure to notify a party of the relocation of the child may be considered in a proceeding to modify custody or visitation with the child. Reasonable costs and attorney fees may be assessed against the parent for failing to give the required notice.

            Once a parent intending to relocate has given the proper notice to the other parent, the parent receiving the notice has thirty days from the date the notice was received to file a motion and affidavit in court setting forth the factual basis supporting that parent’s objection to the relocation. The parent requesting the relocation will then file a response within fourteen days, unless extended by the court, and this response will include a counter-affidavit setting for the facts in support of the relocation as well as a proposed revised parenting plan for the child.

            The parent seeking to relocate will have the burden of proving that the proposed relocation is made in good faith and is in the best interests of the child.

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Death Moots Appeal
Father's death mooted Mother's appeal of visitation provisions in judgment. As to Third-Party Respondent, Mother's appeal of property division is supported by evidence in the record, so Court of Appeals affirms. "[T]his Court accepts as true the evidence and reasonable inferences . . . in the light most favorable to the trial court's decision [and will] disregard all contradictory evidence and inferences . . . contrary to the court's decision."
Mary Margaret Holtgrewe, Appellant, v. Kurt Lawrence Holtgrewe, Respondent, Marlene V. Holtgrewe, Third Party Respondent. Missouri Court of Appeals Eastern District

Stalking By Text Messaging Not Proven
Plaintiff alleged that Defendant's contacts alarmed her, but testified merely that Defendant's text messages and telephone calls bothered her. Such evidence was insufficient to support a full order of protection.
Christinia M. George, Respondent, v. Candace McLuckie, Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Western District

Tax Returns Must Be Disclosed
Movant showed no prejudice in Circuit Court's erroneous refusal to require production of Respondent's tax returns because she did not show that the returns alone would have proven her case. Because Circuit Court found that Movant didn't meet her burden of proof, Circuit Court's failure to make a requested finding of fact on whether maintenance was modifiable or not was harmless.
In Re the Marriage of: Bradley Alan Mangus and Ronda Darlene Mangus. Bradley Alan Mangus, Petitioner/Respondent v. Ronda Darlene Mangus, Respondent/Appellant. Missouri Court of Appeals Southern District

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Ruben Francia has an article posted on Your Child - Your Divorce which looks at the best appropriate divorce parenting practices for school-age children. It is well-worth a full read.

Here is his list of some divorce parenting practices that are best for your child:

· Explain what is happening over and over again. Children this age are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide care when both parents are unavailable.

· Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Be sensitive to children’s fears. Let your child know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of your separation or divorce.

· Read books together about children and divorce. Use books to help your child talk about feelings.

· Answer all questions about the changes, and keep lines of communication open. Make sure your child feels like he or she can ask you questions and get answers about why the divorce happened and what to expect.

· Plan special time together. Set aside special time to spend with your child but be careful not to make promises you may not be able to keep.

· Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn’t their fault.

· Reassure children of how their needs will be met and of who will take care of them.

· Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It’s a threat to their security. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect

· Talk to your child’s day-care provider about the divorce. She will better understand your child’s possible regressive behaviors and will likely offer extra support.

· Talk to your child’s teachers or school counselors about the divorce. They may then better understand possible learning or behavioral problems and will likely offer extra support.

· Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.

· Respect, but monitor, your child’s privacy.

· Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel your child’s fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce

· Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged or intense.

· Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.

· Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children’s ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents.

 

Source: Georgia Family Law Blog

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Sooner or later, many families face the prospect of moving. Disruptive as moving can be for parents, the experience can be even more traumatic for kids, who may not be a part of the decision to move and may not understand it.

Kids may need some time and special attention during the transition. You can take steps to make the entire process less stressful for everyone.

Making the Decision to Move

Many kids thrive on familiarity and routine. So as you consider a move, weigh the benefits of that change against the comfort that established surroundings, school, and social life give your child.

If your family has recently dealt with a major life change, such as divorce or death, you may want to postpone a move, if possible, to give your child time to adjust.

The decision to move may be out of your hands, perhaps due to a job transfer or financial issues. Even if you're not happy about the move, try to maintain a positive attitude about it. During times of transition, a parent's moods and attitudes can greatly affect kids, who may be looking for reassurance.

Discussing the Move With Your Child

No matter what the circumstances, the most important way you can prepare your child is to talk about it early and often.

Try to give your child as much information about the move as soon as possible. Answer questions completely and truthfully, and be receptive to both positive and negative reactions. Even if the move means an improvement in family life, kids don't always understand that and may be focused on the frightening aspects of the change.

Involving kids in the planning as much as possible makes them feel like participants in the house-hunting process or the search for a new school. This can make the change feel less like it's being forced on them.

If you're moving across town, try to take your child to visit the new house (or see it being built) and explore the new neighborhood.

For distant moves, provide as much information as you can about the new home, city, and state (or country). Learn where your child will be able to participate in favorite activities. See if a relative, friend, or even a real estate agent can take pictures of the new house and new school for your child.

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Certified Divorce Financial Analysts™ offer their best tips to help you avoid some of the most common mistakes made by divorcing people.Edited by Diana Shepherd, CDFA

Understand your financial and emotional limits.

When you understand yourself, you are better equipped to be objective. This saves time, which leads to cost savings. If you are not prepared to look at reality – without the emotional entanglements – the outcome will never be what you need, let alone what you want. Instead of asking "why" questions, which lead to people becoming defensive, try asking questions that start with "how." For instance, asking, "How did you come to that conclusion?" leads to a discussion about process. It allows both people to step back from the brink and look at things as they are.

Armand D'Alo (CFP® and CDFA™) of Oak Tree Advisory Services has worked as a financial analyst in private practice for more than 25 years. Located in Carlsbad, CA, he holds a degree in finance and family counseling from Brigham Young University. He can be reached at info@oaktreeadvisory.com.

Settle out of court.

When given the choice to settle at mediation or settle at trial, always try to choose the former for two reasons. First, going to trial is very expensive: typically, the only ones who win are the lawyers and experts, which leaves a smaller "pie" for the divorcing husband and wife to divide. Second, going to trial is risky because all of the decisions are left to the judge who has known the parties for a few hours at most; in mediation, the divorcing parties still have 100% control over how things will be settled (assuming they can come to an agreement).

Joseph P. Mirandi (CPA, CVA, CDFA™, MST) devotes a large portion of his practice in Lakeland, FL to assisting lawyers and their clients in divorce-related matters. He also has an extensive tax practice, and is certified in preparing business valuations. He can be reached at (863) 607-4222 or via www.huttomirandi.com.

Know what you have and what you need.

It is very important to know what assets you own, the value of those assets, and how they are held. This should cover everything from retirement to investment to bank accounts, as well as future pensions and social security. Make copies of your and your spouse's tax returns. These returns can help explain to a financial advisor a lot more than your income and taxes paid: they can help find assets, capital gains and losses, depreciation, and business expenses. The tax returns are also helpful in uncovering assets that a spouse might have hidden.

Before splitting your assets, you should think about what you need: you must create a budget, identify which assets will help ensure your financial security, and negotiate for this.

Jim Newman (AWMA, CSA, CDFA™) is the Senior Vice President – Wealth Management at Janney Montgomery Scott in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL. He can be reached at (866) 226-9935.

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Recently from the San Francisco Family Law Blog

With more than 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, dealing with custody, splitting up property and paying alimony are realities that some families must deal with.

Of course, they are also serious issues of contention that can often cause financial hardship to one or both parties involved.

"The harsh truth is all relationships end, be it divorce or death," said Cheryl Bernstein, a financial planner for Financial Essentials. "At some time or another, and you need to know where your money is."

There are many financial issues, ranging from tax implications to determining assets, that come into play during a divorce.

However, it's only a part of the story.

"In middle-size divorces, it's part of a case, but not all of the case," said Steven Chroman, a Valencia divorce attorney.

Money issues ranging from property distribution to spousal and child support all factor in and become issues, especially when a marriage has seen an increase in money for one or both parties.

Chroman said that in California, people are lucky, as in most divorce cases there are disclosure requirements, and people can hire accountants to be able to trace all property and assets and be able to determine tax implications.

Bernstein said it's important for both men and women to be financially educated and know where all their money and obligations are.

"Don't count on the other spouse," she said, because there could be case of needing to know where everything is.

Chroman said money can be manipulated, which is why it is important to have the right people available to handle what a person might forget during the course of a divorce.

In addition, in spousal support and monetary settlements, the parties have to be aware of all things that come up during the course of a marriage, and have "due diligence" in figuring out what is owned and managed.

Chroman said that although it is an unromantic ideal, a pre- or post-nuptial agreement might help in protecting assets, such as an estate or trust that a person comes into a marriage with, and being able to keep that money after a divorce.

It's not just for the wealthy, either. He said that it is also a common practice in middle-class marriages.

"A lot of things can happen," he said. "People get divorced for crazy reasons, and it's a security device for both."

By Reina V. Slutske
Signal Business Writer

Source:  San Francisco Family Law Blog

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NEW YORK (AP) -- By the numbers, divorce just isn't what it used to be.

Despite the common notion that America remains plagued by a divorce epidemic, the national per capita divorce rate has declined steadily since its peak in 1981 and is now at its lowest level since 1970.

Yet Americans aren't necessarily making better choices about their long-term relationships. Even those who study marriage and work to make it more successful can't decide whether the trend is grounds for celebration or cynicism.

Some experts say relationships are as unstable as ever -- and divorces are down primarily because more couples live together without marrying. Other researchers have documented what they call ''the divorce divide,'' contending that divorce rates are indeed falling substantively among college-educated couples but not among less-affluent, less-educated couples.

''Families with two earners with good jobs have seen an improvement in their standard of living, which leads to less tension at home and lower probability of divorce,'' said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of public policy at Johns Hopkins University.

America's divorce rate began climbing in the late 1960s and skyrocketed during the '70s and early '80s, as virtually every state adopted no-fault divorce laws. The rate peaked at 5.3 divorces per 1,000 people in 1981.

But since then it's dropped by one-third, to 3.6. That's the lowest rate since 1970.

What's fueling that decline? According to 20 scholars, marriage-promotion experts and divorce lawyers consulted by The Associated Press, a combination of things.

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 Divorce & Social Security Benefits

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Just over two years ago, President George W. Bush signed the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) of 2005, which became effective Oct. 17, 2005. If you are getting divorced, this new bankruptcy law could concern you. Reason: While you may not realize it, in this country, our high divorce rate and bankruptcy commonly intersect.

Here’s how. Until the enactment of the BAPCPA, the bankruptcy process was seen by some, and used by many, as a tool to permanently evade (or, to use bankruptcy terminology, ‘discharge’) family obligations foisted upon them by agreement or court order after a marital dissolution. Plus, once a person filed a bankruptcy petition--for liquidation under Chapter 7 or reorganization under Chapter 13 (or, less commonly, Chapter 11)--he gained the protection of an ‘automatic stay,’ preventing creditors from taking any actions against him, his income or his property to collect their debts.

Perhaps even more important than the means test and mandatory financial management education is the fact that BAPCPA has made it much more difficult for debtors to shirk domestic relations responsibilities. Unlike the old law (BRA) which, as amended in 1984, allowed debtors to discharge nonsecured property settlement obligations to former spouses (think payouts for businesses, professional practices, or other assets distributed in a divorce), the new law forbids this. Now, any domestic support obligation ‘DSO’ becomes a ‘first priority claim,’ ineligible for discharge.'

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Child-rearing is often a sensitive and complicated issue for couples, and many argue about just how to properly raise their young. But for children, major parental disagreement is a source of mixed messages and confusion that may undermine the attitudes, values and behaviors parents hope to teach. Stacy DeBroff, president of the popular parenting website Momcentral.com, offers smart solutions on how to keep chaos at bay.

Parenting disagreements? Threatening the well being of our marriages and our kids? Yep, welcome to the brave new world of today's parenting: with shifting social roles for Mom and Dad, pressure to raise fabulous kids while supposedly being their best friends, and strong parenting preferences by both Mom and Dad.

When most of us were growing up, Mom and Dad held more traditional roles, with Mom typically a housewife and Dad the breadwinner and stern disciplinarian. "Just wait until your Father gets home!" my brother and I got warned on a daily basis. Not so today, as Moms announce in the kitchen, "I do not care what your Dad said! There is no macaroni and cheese for breakfast in this house or TV after dinner. Period." For men and women alike with children, parenting has emerged as a primary focus. And along with the laser-like focus on children has emerged a virtual cauldron of boiling and brewing parental disagreements.

Trend spotting helps here to see the shifting in parenting styles. Long gone are those June Cleaver days when women considered themselves first and foremost as "housewives." Moms are focusing on being "stay-at-home Moms," we have entered the workplace in record numbers, and Dads have become the most involved parents in history. Plus, ask most Moms and Dad and they will announce how they want to be "best friends" with their children. So much for children being seen and not heard!

When Mom and Dad disagree over even minor parenting issues: the repercussions echo throughout the whole next day and the whole family. For instance if Dad lets the kids stay up way past bedtime, you have Mom at home with an entire day of dealing with a grumpy, tired, unhappy kid or one who resents your more stringent rules. Or it's the working Moms who get reports from a babysitter, the preschool, the teachers, and the after-school about a tired child who is acting out. As parents, Moms rely on having a united front.

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Burden of proof of stalking for order of protection. Thomas Schwalm, Respondent v. Lori Schwalm, Appellant, No. 87829 (Mo. App. E.D., March 20, 2007), Richter, P.J.
  This case is instructional to the extent it discusses the failure of proof that required the reversal of the judgment for an order of protection.
  Husband sought an order of protection where the evidence showed that wife knocked on husband's door multiple times, once blocked husband's vehicle in a parking lot, followed him to work on occasion and once approached him at a gas station. That sounds like stalking, except for one crucial element. “While the statutory definition of stalking requires alarm (in the victim), a plaintiff is required to do more than simply assert a bare answer of 'yes' when asked if he was alarmed. A plaintiff must show that a defendant's conduct caused him fear of danger of physical harm as stated in the statutory definition of alarm. See Section 455.010(10)(c).”
  Note: A similar case was just reported for the same proposition: Clark v. Wuebbeling, No. 88413 (Mo. App. E.D., March 20, 2007), opinion also by Judge Richter.

Identical twins yield identical paternity tests. State of Missouri, ex rel., Department of Social Services, Division of Child Support Enforcement, and Holly Marie Adams, Petitioners/Respondents v. Raymon Miller, Respondent/Appellant and Richard Miller, Respondent, No. 27188 (Mo. App. S.D., March 14, 2007), Garrison, J.
  This was a paternity action in which twin brothers were having sexual relations with the eventual mother of a child for whom child support was sought. The brother named as the father appealed on the basis that the burden of proof of his paternity was not met because of the results of DNA testing of both brothers. The results were identical.
  Held: Affirmed. When competing tests for paternity show two potential fathers, the court must look to the nongenetic evidence to determine if there is a preponderance of evidence of the identity of the father. Here, the mother's testimony established that appellant was the only one of the two who could be the father.

Disqualification of guardian ad litem in modification action. State of Missouri, ex rel. Larry Dreppard, Relator, v. Hon. Phillip Jones, Com., and Hon. John Essner, Respondents, No. 89214 (Mo. App. E.D., March 6, 2007), Norton, P.J.
  A motion to modify was filed and the trial court re-appointed the guardian ad litem (“GAL”) from the dissolution of marriage action. Within 10 days of that appointment, father asked for the disqualification of the GAL. The request was denied. Father now seeks a writ of mandamus compelling the trial court to grant the motion to disqualify.
  Held: Writ made absolute. Section 452.423.1, RSMo provides that each party has a right to one disqualification of an appointed GAL if requested in a timely manner (within 10 days of the appointment). The trial court viewed the motion to modify as a continuation of the original dissolution action. However, the opinion notes “… that by 're-appointing' the GAL following the motion to modify, the court recognized that the modification proceeding was independent from the original dissolution proceeding. Otherwise, no appointment would have been necessary.” Since the motion to modify is deemed by the rules to be an independent proceeding, the parties had a right to disqualify the GAL.

Pension benefits and disability payments. Sandra Ray Coffman, Respondent v. Elvin Cale Coffman, Appellant, No. 66204 (Mo. App. W.D., February 27, 2007), Ellis, J.
  In this dissolution of marriage action, the parties were married in 1982. At that time, husband had worked for General Motors for approximately 4 ½ years. He continued that employment until December 2002 for a total of 24 years. Earlier that year he had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital and his father was named as his guardian and conservator by the probate court. He was 45 years old as of his last day at General Motors. He had received disability payment from General Motors and eventually qualified for Social Security disability benefits, too. He qualified and was ultimately receiving disability benefits from General Motors. The trial court determined that all but the pre-marital years of credited service were marital property having been accumulated during the marriage. It was divided equally between the parties. Husband appealed.
  Held: Reversed. The court of appeals determined from the evidence that the only reason the husband had begun receiving benefit payments was because of his disability. Otherwise, he would not be eligible for pension benefits until reaching retirement age under the plan. Further, the terms of the General Motor benefits provided that husband would receive the disability payments based on his years of service until either he reached age 65 (retirement age) or became capable of gainful employment. After age 65 the benefits would revert to being pension benefits in character. Thus, the benefits he was and would later be eligible for were partially marital and non-marital in character. The opinion notes that disability benefits are not marital property “… if they serve as a substitute for earnings lost due to the recipient's inability to work. In re: Marriage of Thomas, 21 S.W.3d 168,173 (Mo. App. S.D. 2000).”
  The case was remanded for a determination of which portion of the marital portion of the benefits will be awarded between the parties and to award husband the non-marital portion thereof.

Order of protection between brothers-in-law. Terry Pratt, Respondent, v. Chuck Lasley, Appellant, No. 65992 (Mo. App. W.D., January 16, 2007), Ellis, J.
  The two parties are brothers-in-law because they are each married to women who are sisters. Respondent was found to have assaulted the Petitioner and an order of protection was entered. The Respondent appealed asserting that the definition of family member in the statute (§455.020.1) did not apply since there is no blood relation between them.
  Held: Affirmed. “Had the legislature intended to limit the statute's applicability to those 'of kin' or related by cosanguinity or direct affinity as proposed by (respondent), the legislature would have used those terms in the statute.
  “The plain and ordinary meaning of the phrase 'related by marriage' includes one's brother-in-law.”

Source for Post:  The Missouri Bar

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One very important, and often overlooked, factor to consider as part of your dissolution of marriage is a re-evaluation, (or first evaluation as is often the case) of your estate plan.   If there is no plan in place, the laws that will determine how your estate will be divided upon your death change significantly when you are divorced.  If there is a plan in place, you will most certainly want to make changes for your future to match the changes in your life today.  Below are some very basic points on estate planning from about.com:

If you have assets, no matter what your age, marital status, or financial wealth, you should plan your estate in the event of your death or incapacitation. If you should die without a sound estate plan, someone will be exposed to additional grief and expense. If you become incapacitated, your bills might not get paid. You could also be put on life support which is OK unless you have strong feelings about your life being prolonged artificially if you have no chance for recovery. A little preparation and maintenance could make this difficult time less taxing for those you love and who love you.

There are many reasons to have a sound estate plan but here are eight I feel are most important. If you should die or become incapacitated, a sound estate plan could:

1. save your family thousands of dollars
2. distribute your assets to those of your choosing, not of the government's choosing
3. designate who will raise your minor children
4. make sure someone is authorized to pay your bills
5. avoid conflicts among your family members
6. make sure your assets aren’t divided among your children’s ex-spouses
7. keep your children from frivolously spending the inheritance
8. prevent death taxes.

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Divorce: Preplanning Strategies

Nobody marries with the expectation of failure. Married couples never contemplate that the person they once loved could later seem to be a stranger and perhaps even an enemy. Yet, statistics paint an ugly picture. Approximately 4 out of 10 marriages today end in divorce. In divorce proceedings, women lose financially, their standard of living may drop as much as thirty percent in the first year following a divorce. Men, may not suffer as great financially, however, they tend to lose precious time with their children.

One of the greatest contributors to divorce is the issue of "control" - either financial or personal. Who controls the bank account? Who sets the social agenda? When one partner to a marriage "controls", the other partner loses their sense of self. A divorce becomes imminent as the controlled partner tries to regain their self-esteem.

There are several simple and logical ways to protect yourself financially if you believe your marriage is in jeopardy:

1. Keep Non-Marital Assets Separate

Non-marital assets are not part of the assets divided in a divorce. Instead, they are considered the asset of either the husband or the wife and generally awarded to that person in a divorce proceeding. Categories of non-marital assets include:

• property you inherit;
• proceeds from personal injury awards (ie. Worker's compensation or accident proceeds);
• items owned prior to marriage; and
• gifts to one party rather than the family.

If non-marital assets are commingled with assets purchased or improved during the marriage, it may not be possible to claim the asset as yours in the event of divorce. However, some "tracing" of non-marital assets may be possible. For example, if a non-marital asset is sold during the marriage and the proceeds from the sale are used to purchase another asset, it may be possible to "trace" a non-marital interest in the new asset. For example, if a car owned before a marriage is sold during the marriage and the proceeds used to purchase a new vehicle, a party may be able to claim a non-marital interest in the new vehicle. To do so, it is very important to retain all documents demonstrating the sale of the asset and the use of the proceeds realized from the sale.

2. Establish Your Own Credit

Make sure your name is listed on all household accounts and investments. Establish at least one credit card in your own name. This will help to create an individual credit history. When you are on your own, you will have a better chance qualifying for loans, mortgages and credit cards. These are all important considerations after a divorce.

3. Review Your Financial Holdings Regularly

Maintain complete and separate records of your financial holdings such as bank accounts, IRA's, 401K, land purchases, and stocks. This includes assets in your spouse's name as well. You may wish to maintain copies of these records at your place of employment or in a safety deposit box in your name. Records have a way of disappearing after a divorce has been started.

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The following article has recently appeared on at least a few of the family law blogs, which I found to be particularly interesting.  Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog and the Georgia Family Law Blog for sharing this information with us.

 

Marriage has become a delicate venture. According to the U.S. Census bureau, about nine out of ten people will marry sometime in their lives, but about half of first marriages will end in divorce. And while some marriages end peacefully, with both sides agreeing to an equal and fair settlement, some do not, and the ensuing process can get quite vicious.

When ex-spouses significantly distrust each other, it is advisable to engage the services of a lawyer, especially if one or both do not understand their household finances and the economic implications of marital settlements. In turn, attorneys often hire CPAs as forensic accountants to help represent the spouse who doesn’t have access to the family’s financial information. In these cases, the forensic analysis might include reviewing financial data to determine its accuracy and reasonableness; determining each spouse’s standard of living and disposable income; locating hidden assets; and determining what property may be considered separate from marital property, especially if one of the spouses runs a closely held business. This type of work has created a highly focused segment for the profession: forensic accounting in divorce engagements.

Marriage: The Leading Cause of Divorce? Out of the more than 2 million marriages performed last year, 60% were the first marriage for both bride and groom. Unfortunately, for those first marriages that do end in divorce, the average length of a first marriage is only about eight years. The median duration of second marriages that end in divorce is only about seven years.       

Most newlyweds probably don’t think of their wedding day as the beginning of a personal business partnership: making money, budgeting, accumulating assets, and investing for the future. Nevertheless, couples should still plan how to divide this property at the blissful beginning, not the bitter end. This planning could take the form of a premarital agreement, which may not be a perfect document, but is generally enforceable in all 50 states. This is why both spouses must understand their household’s finances. It is not a good idea to allow one spouse to run all the finances while the other spouse knows nothing about it. After all, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with would never try to hide something from you … or would they?

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The following post is information for clients who have paternity or custody actions pending in Eastern or Western Jackson county Missouri about the PTLA program which is required by the Court.

PTLA (Parenting Together Living Apart) is a parent educational program designed to teach parents who have never been married to each other but have children together the value of co-parenting their child(ren) cooperatively so as to maximize the healthy emotional development of their child(ren). This program is most effective when utilized prior to mediation. There is no cost for attendance.

Program Objectives:

• Parents will have a better understanding of the importance of co-parenting.
• Parents will practice positive communication skills.
• Parents will learn about child development states in parental conflict.
• Parents will increase positive parenting skills to work with each other cooperatively.

PTLA Curriculum:

• Parental responsibilities
• Children’s basic needs
• Why children need both parents
• Emotional reactions to the lost relationship
• Children’s developmental states in parental conflict
• Paternity establishment
• Positive co-parenting
• Effective communication skills
• Responsive discipline
• Parenting time suggestions

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The Oklahoma Family Law Blog had a great post yesterday offering tips for a smarter divorce.  The post is reproduced as follows:

The best advice about divorce would be to prevent it if possible; nearly half of all marriages end that way--sort of. In reality, from a cumulative point of view, less than 41% of all the marriages end by divorce. The 50% figure stems from the annual divorce rate and is misleading because the people divorcing each year are not, for the most part, the same ones who are marrying. But whether the U.S. divorce rate is below 41% or closer to oft-quoted 50%, the fact is that divorce is common and, sadly, seems here to stay.

Perhaps more interesting is the fact that some researchers have found that nearly 80% of divorces are unilateral, as opposed to something both parties want. If this statistic is correct, then four out of five divorces are unwanted by one of the spouses. If you are the one who wants out, you'll have the power to decide when and how to best to approach the split.

This advantage is critical because once a marital dissolution petition is filed, many jurisdictions impose automatic restraints against shifting assets or changing the status quo ante (the way things were, just before the filing). That can complicate things if you do not plan ahead. One the other hand, statistics tell us that 70% of divorce filings are by women. So men, it's not likely you'll control the timing of the split, though you might control the purse strings.

But no matter who files, planning a divorce, or defending against one, can feel like taking on a second job, with so much to consider. For example, if you are the one who wants out, you must weigh whether you can trust your spouse not to financially annihilate you just to spite your decision to leave. Will he or she do everything possible to destroy what you worked so hard to attain while the marriage was working? Are there steps you can take to minimize the damage of divorce, while protecting your relationship with your kids, your property and your income?

Moreover, for many individuals, a divorce involves more than just dealing with finances and the kids. It affects not just the immediate family but perhaps elderly parents that need to be looked after, not to mention relationships with extended family members, friends and even beloved in-laws. Because of the emotional upheaval, many couples benefit from therapeutic counseling, as well as financial planning, in the act of dismantling a life built for two.

The bottom line is that you need to protect your own interests, while still being reasonable, if possible. And though you might think your spouse will act prudently, don't count on it. Very few people encounter divorce without responding in an emotional way. In the words of Ben Franklin, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

You should be prepared for the chance that your divorce may become adversarial and that, for a while, your spouse will turn into a person you never knew existed. So try to bear in mind that while you may be taking an action that you think is merely rational, it's very possible that he or she will interpret your actions differently or, perhaps worse, offensively, creating more problems.

Naturally, with an iron-clad prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, the divorce process will proceed in a more predictable fashion. But even then, expect your spouse to fight the the agreement's enforceability based on grounds that it might be unconscionable now to enforce it, although it was perfectly fair when it was executed.

On the whole, divorce brings uncertainly that can breed anxiety, hostility or worse. But there are steps you can take to place yourself in a more advantageous position while you determine if your differences are irreconcilable or not.

Source: Forbes.com.

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